[2020-08-09] Being vulnerable
Six years ago, former colleague Rachel Muston spoke at an event I helped organize about her experience with anxiety. Rachel said that when she opened up about her challenges, she found that it created a safe space for her colleagues to share their own struggles.
She acknowledged that the idea of talking about vulnerabilities is scary. However, she said that since she has shared her story, she’s frequently heard, "Me too" or "I don’t have that but I have this" or "My sister has that."
Rachel stated: "It’s as if being vulnerable is the key to opening the door to that safe space. And I honestly don’t think there is another key that will do it."
As she opened up, colleagues shared their vulnerabilities, which enabled her to empathize with them in a way that was not possible before. And it led her to conclude that more of us are struggling in some way than not.
I shared Rachel's story back in 2014 in my blog Café Jen. I was reminded of it when I saw just how many people had reached out to me to say "I had something similar" or "My mother/father/aunt/patient/friend had (ovarian) cancer."
Another former colleague, Suzanne Burke, contacted me this morning and said of her own journey: "At first, I didn't speak about it because the doctors weren't sure what we were dealing with but after the surgery...I did share, and you are right!! - the stories and support from others provided immeasurable comfort."
She offered to chat with me. And she said that the staff at the Shirley E. Greenberg Women's Health Centre at the Riverside Hospital took very good care of her, as they would for me.
Finally, Suzanne said, "Let yourself be taken care of—as hard as that might be to do—it IS time to focus on you... we forget to do that."
It is so reassuring to hear of others who have faced challenging issues and overcome them.
I know that I wouldn't be so open with my current story if I hadn't spent 9 years blogging in Café Jen. The support I received then and the support I'm receiving now make it very easy to share. What I get in return has always felt like way more than I have given.
