[2020-08-18] Reaching out

I am honoured and blessed that so many people have contacted me since my diagnosis.

No matter what people communicate, I know that they are reaching out because they care.

There's no wrong way to engage with me. There's no question that's off limits. No suggestion that will upset me. No concern that people have shared my diagnosis. No worry if it takes some a long time to write.

People sometimes struggle with what to say to someone who has been recently diagnosed with a life-threatening illness. Most websites that I consulted on talking with someone in that situation suggested that if you don't know what to say, you can start with this...
  • "I’m not sure what to say, but I want you to know that I care."

You can also offer:
  • "I’m sorry to hear that you are going through this."
  • "How are you doing?"
  • "If you would like to talk about it, I’m here."
  • "Please let me know how I can help."
  • "I’ll keep you in my thoughts."
When you think about it, these same statements could be used for almost any situation: grief, loss of a job, mental illness.

I have become more comfortable reaching out to people who have lost a loved one—perhaps because I benefited so much from the concern of others when I lost my brother Greg a year ago.

But I will admit that I still stumble in other circumstances, including mental illness and job loss.

I often worry that I will make a situation worse. I always have the best of intentions. But I am sure that there are many occasions during my lifetime when I didn't send even a quick note to say, "If you're going through a tough time, I'm here for you."

My aim with these blog posts is never to suggest that I've figured everything out. I haven't.

It's to acknowledge my own shortcomings and to inspire all of us to be the best version of ourselves that we can be.

Just know that reaching out and running the risk that you'll say the wrong thing is almost always better than not reaching out at all.