[2020-08-26] The little things

While my niece and I were whiling away the hours in the emergency on Saturday night, we asked each other questions to pass the time. I have a collection of several hundred questions that I've gathered over the years—such as Does food taste better when you make it or when others do? Most memorable event from high school? The best book you've read in the last year?—and we took turns answering them.

One of the questions was this: "A moment when you achieved absolute happiness?" As soon as I read it, I said, "That's not a very good question." What is absolute happiness anyway? It felt like a question that required a grand answer.

Sure I've had grand moments in my life: the birth of my children, marriage to my husband after a 30-year engagement, my mom's 80th birthday celebration.

But, for me, happiness is like a scale. Little moments of happiness add to the positive side of the scale, while little moments of sadness (or disappointment or humiliation or guilt) add to the negative side. Since my diagnosis, I've received hundreds of additions to the positive side of the scale through visits, messages and gifts of all sorts. And they're not single-use items either. Every positive message you've sent has been tucked away in an Inspiration file that I will be able to draw on to once again add to the positive side of the scale when it tips in the wrong direction.

I am fortunate that the positive side of my scale has almost always outweighed the negative. That's partly luck (I live in Canada, I have a good job, I am surrounded by people who love me) and partly perspective (I am grateful for the little things in life).

So today, I thought I would share some of the little things that make me happy.
  • Receiving a hug that says "you are at home here—stay as long as you like"
  • Making someone laugh, especially my daughter
  • Snuggling under a duvet, or anything that makes me warm, especially when that thing was a present (see photo)
  • Receiving thanks for making someone feel good about themselves
  • Eating warm cookies fresh from the oven and drinking a hot cup of tea or coffee
  • Reading, listening to or watching something funny that someone sent to me because they knew that I would like it
  • Being called Jen, which is a term of familiarity that makes me feel connected to others
  • Playing Jeopardy with my family and realizing how much my kids know
  • Listening to live music with someone who appreciates it as much as I do
  • Doing volunteer work with my husband
  • Publishing a blog post that I think is really good
  • Petting a puppy
  • Receiving a compliment for something I'm proud of
  • Finding money in a pocket or anything that I've lost
  • Walking in a forest on a well-traveled trail
  • Hearing the music from A Charlie Brown Christmas
  • Putting on a new pair of socks
  • Smelling sweet corn boiling
  • Seeing a beautiful photo or painting
  • Doing a jigsaw puzzle that's the perfect balance of challenging and easy
  • Sitting outside
  • Hearing children laugh or watching children dance
  • Having time to read a book
  • Coming upon hundreds of fireflies when out on a late-evening walk in the woods (true story!)
  • Picking vegetables in a garden
  • Seeing the fireworks on my Fitbit when I reach 10,000 steps
  • Involuntarily crossing my hands over my heart when reading a message that really touches me
One of my brothers said to me recently that we can know someone for years without really understanding what they like, how they feel and what they spend their quiet moments doing. So, with today's post, I've shared a few more details about me and what I like.

But I also hope to inspire you to recognize the little things that make you happy. If you then share your own list with others, I'm sure that they will find some things that they didn't know before.

My husband bought me this oversized hoodie for my birthday in July. I spent the day in it on my deck. Photo credit: Melanie Bouchard.