[2020-09-13] Spoon theory
Have you heard of Spoon Theory? It was created by Christine Miserando to explain to a friend what it's like to have Lupus, a chronic illness in which the body's immune system attacks its own tissues and organs.
As Christine explains in The Spoon Theory, she was sitting in a diner with her friend and came up with the analogy when her friend asked what it felt like to have Lupus. Christine grabbed all the spoons on her table as well as a few from other tables and handed them to her friend, saying "Here you go, you have Lupus."
Christine then went on to say that the difference between being sick and being healthy is the amount of energy you have to spend on everyday activities. The spoons represented units of energy. So getting out of bed uses a spoon, taking a shower uses a second, getting dressed uses a third, and eating breakfast uses a fourth. Christine's friend had only 12 spoons. If it took 4 spoons just to get started in the morning, that would not leave many to commute to and from work, to do a job, to prepare and eat meals, to go to the doctor, or to spend time with friends.
Christine wanted to use something physical and tangible to help her friend understand the analogy. She says, "I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a 'loss' of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control."
As a person with a chronic illness, Christine has learned to plan her day so that she spends her energy on the activities of greatest importance to her. She also uses the Spoon Theory—as do many other people—to help her healthy family and friends understand her limitations. Healthy people, Christine suggests, may have an unlimited number of spoons and may take for granted their boundless energy.
I was reminded of the Spoon Theory this morning by a friend who suffered a concussion a number of years ago. The analogy could apply in many situations: chronic illness, recovery from surgery, mental illness, ageing. It's especially useful, I think, for healthy people to understand a change in the energy level of a loved one.
From my own experience, I would do a lot more if I could. I would cook and bake. I would clean up and do dishes. I would do laundry and put away clothes. Fortunately, my family is very understanding as I recover from surgery.
We never know how many spoons other people have—something that I know I have failed to recognize in the past. So today's inspiration is to remember that we and others are doing the best that we can, and to be kind to ourselves and others.
