[2020-09-21] The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse
I received a lovely book from a dear friend today: The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse. Author Charlie Mackesy writes in the book's introduction:
I hope this book encourages you, perhaps, to live courageously with more kindness for yourself and others. And to ask for help when you need it—which is always a brave thing to do.
The book is about kindness and love, and about facing challenges and making a difference. It is filled with thoughtful maxims, gently imparted by the characters in the book as they journey together. Here is a sampling, organized in themes that make sense to me.
Kindness
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"Kind" said the boy.
"Being kind to yourself is one of the greatest kindnesses," said the mole.
"We often wait for kindness ... but being kind to yourself can start now," said the mole.
"Often the hardest person to forgive is yourself."
"Doing nothing with friends is never doing nothing, is it?" asked the boy.
"No," said the mole.
Love
"Sometimes all you hear about is the hate, but there is more love in this world than you could possibly imagine."
"Sometimes I worry you'll all realise I'm ordinary," said the boy.
"Love doesn't need you to be extraordinary," said the mole.
"So you know all about me?" asked the boy.
"Yes," said the horse.
"And you still love me?"
"We love you all the more."
"Sometimes I think you believe in me more than I do," said the boy.
"You'll catch up," said the horse.
"We don't know about tomorrow," said the horse, "all we need to know is that we love each other."
"I've realised why we are here," whispered the boy.
"For cake?" asked the mole.
"To love," said the boy.
"And to be loved," said the horse.
Facing Challenges
"The greatest illusion," said the mole, "is that life should be perfect."
"Everyone is a bit scared," said the horse. "But we are less scared together."
"What's the bravest thing you've ever said?" asked the boy.
"Help," said the horse.
"Asking for help isn't giving up," said the horse. "It's refusing to give up."
"Sometimes just getting up and carrying on is brave and magnificent."
"When the dark clouds come ... keep going."
"When the big things feel out of control ... focus on what you love right under your nose."
"This storm will pass."
"What do we do when our hearts hurt?" asked the boy.
"We wrap them with friendship, shared tears and time, till they wake hopeful and happy again."
Making a Difference
"The fox never really speaks," whispered the boy.
"No. And it's lovely he is with us," said the horse.
"To be honest, I often feel I have nothing interesting to say," said the fox.
"Being honest is always interesting," said the horse.
"What do you think is the biggest waste of time?"
"Comparing yourself to others," said the mole.
"Don't measure how valuable you are by the way you are treated," said the horse. "Always remember you matter, you're important and you are loved, and you bring to this world things no one else can."
"What's your best discovery?" asked the mole.
"That I'm enough as I am," said the boy.
Given my current circumstances, these three messages spoke to me the most:
"The greatest illusion," said the mole, "is that life should be perfect."
"When the dark clouds come ... keep going."
"Everyone is a bit scared," said the horse. "But we are less scared together."
It's not that I thought that life was perfect before my diagnosis, but I did think that my health was strong. In fact, my family doctor told me when we chatted just after I learned that I have cancer, "It's OK to mourn the loss of your perfect health."
Going into surgery and recovering from it, I've told myself that things will get better ("This storm will pass"). This morning, I read about the potential side effects of the chemotherapy drugs I'm likely to be given; it was chilling. All I can say is that when those dark clouds come, I will keep going.
Facing cancer is scary, but it is definitely a lot less scary knowing that I have so many people walking with me—my very own horse, fox and mole.
The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse is filled with many more lessons than I've shared here. It is a wonderful book that would speak to anyone ("whether you are eighty or eight," as the author says) at anytime—facing an illness, coping with the pandemic, second-guessing yourself.
Mackesy's generosity doesn't end with the book. He includes additional life lessons on his Twitter account, which is as easy to get lost in as his book. I've included a selection of images from his social media below.
Seeing Mackesy's talent makes me wish that I could draw. But perhaps—as the horse says of the fox—my honesty is interesting. This blog has helped me to wrap myself in your friendship and kindness; for that, I am grateful. ❤️
