[2020-10-06] Acceptance
Today was another opportunity to exercise patience. I felt more at peace today than in the past five days, despite new symptoms—lightheadedness and tingling in my fingertips.
The latter is to be expected, as the oncologist described it as a possible side effect of chemotherapy. The numbness is mild, so I'm not concerned.
The lightheadedness may be a result of dehydration. I haven't been drinking a lot in the last few days, finding most beverages unpalatable. But I'm trying to increase my intake of liquids, including juice. Normally, I wouldn't be much of a juice drinker, but it's good for me in a number of ways. It provides calories, which I desperately need, and hydration that's good for possible gallbladder issues.
Yes, on top of everything else, I may be having gallbladder issues. In fact, what took me to the Queensway-Carleton Hospital emergency department on July 29 may have been a gallbladder attack. In a call with my family doctor today, we agreed that she would refer me to a general surgeon should I need to have my gallbladder removed in the future.
In the meantime, I will follow a gallbladder-friendly diet: one that is low in fat (especially saturated fat), red and processed meats, refined carbohydrates and sugars, and full-fat dairy, and that is high in fibre, fresh fruits and vegetables, fruit juice, whole grains, nuts, seeds and legumes. That's a pretty typical healthful diet, except for the fruit juice. But again, with chemotherapy and my tendency to lose weight, anything that adds calories without extra fat is a good thing right now.
I've eaten well today: an egg and wholegrain toast for breakfast, some fresh strawberries, leftover chicken noodle soup and half a scone for lunch along with a small fruit smoothie, plus some mango sorbet and grapefruit juice in the afternoon, and a tomato sandwich for supper. What you eat isn't a success until eating is a challenge.
My doctor and I also talked about the flu shot, which I'm happy that I can still get. She will give me a flu shot before my next round of chemotherapy, when my immune system is at its strongest.
Today's entry in A Year of Positive Thinking is about living the good life—something that you decide each day with every single decision you make. I think that I've finally accepted that my day will entail whatever it is I'm up for on the occasion. For example, after breakfast, I took a nap. Though it didn't alleviate my lightheadedness, it was restorative.
Patience and acceptance are my key words today—patience for what I can and can't do, and acceptance of where I am in my health journey.
