[2020-10-24] Optimism
Pyjama Day 2 feels much better this time round than it did the first time. Perhaps I've learned to better manage any potential nausea with medication, taking my backup anti-nausea pills sooner. Perhaps I'm not trying to simultaneously recover from surgery. Or perhaps I simply know what to expect.
My appetite is better, so I can eat and stay stronger. I can better tolerate water and other beverages, which means I can stay hydrated.
After a good night's sleep followed by breakfast, I took a nap. If my body wants to sleep, I sleep. To block out the sounds of the house, I put on earbuds and listen to a recording of Winnie the Pooh stories, narrated by Stephen Fry, Judi Dench, Geoffrey Palmer, Jane Horrocks and Michael Williams. It's delightful and soothing, and it lulls me to sleep in minutes. To block out the morning light, I don a sleep mask. (Funny story: I take a sleep mask to chemotherapy for my inevitable post-Benadryl nap. I forgot I was wearing it and walked out of the hospital with it on, proudly declaring "10 More Minutes" on my forehead.) And to stay as comfortable as possible in my cozy corner, I have my funny little pillow, Peanut, behind my neck.
My morning nap was so refreshing that I did it again in the afternoon. Rinse and repeat.
Round two of post-chemotherapy recovery is definitely better now that I know what to expect.
In life, though, we often don't know what to expect. First day of school. First day on a new job. What I'll look like with no hair. ;)
That's when I try to see the world with optimism. Everything is going to be OK, because that's what happens most often. Everything almost always works out just fine.
I've always been a glass-half-full kind of person. When I was 12, I learned of an essay-writing contest open to kids from 12 to 18. I believe it was associated with 4H. It was certainly something agricultural in focus because I wrote an essay on the improvements in livestock feeds over the past 25 years. This was long before the Internet age, so I sent away for information that would help me in writing my essay. I was well aware that I was only 12 and would most likely be competing against people much older and more experienced than I. But I was attracted by the fact that everyone who entered would win a prize, even if that were just a pen. That's what I told one of my brothers when he pessimistically assured me that I'd never win. Imagine his surprise (and mine, honestly) a few months later when I learned that I had won the top prize: $500. That was a lot of money back in 1978.
I think optimism also comes when you feel strong enough to tackle most challenges. That's how I have felt towards cancer. Many have walked this path before me. I can too.
I have faced challenges before, including the loss of loved ones. When my brother Greg passed away last year, I would listen to Annie Lennox singing "Into the West" from The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. For the longest time, I couldn't get through it without crying my eyes out. But eventually I did, and the song became consoling rather than heart-wrenching. I have my strength returned and with it optimism.
As I think about lessons I would want to impart to my kids, one of them would be this: "Be optimistic." Many great thinkers would agree:
"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence." ~Helen Keller
"Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, you are unlikely to step up and take responsibility for making it so." ~Noam Chomsky
"Optimism is essential to achievement and it is also the foundation of courage and true progress." ~Nicholas M. Butler
"True hopefulness and optimism is what leads one to dare. It is also what lifts one back up to dare again after a failed attempt." ~Bibi Bourelly
"It's not that optimism solves all of life's problems; it is just that it can sometimes make the difference between coping and collapsing." ~Lucy MacDonald
"Optimism inspires, energizes, and brings out our best. It points the mind toward possibilities and helps us think creatively past problems." ~Price Pritchett
"Part of being optimistic is keeping one's head toward the sun, one's feet moving forward." ~Nelson Mandela
"Pessimism never won any battle." ~Dwight D. Eisenhower
"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." ~Winston Churchill
"What is hope but a feeling of optimism, a thought that says things will improve, it won't always be bleak, there's a way to rise above the present circumstances. Hope is an internal awareness that you do not have to suffer forever, and that somehow, somewhere there is a remedy for despair that you will come upon if you can only maintain this expectancy in your heart." ~Wayne D. Dyer
I would describe myself as 75% optimistic and 25% realistic. My optimistic side says everything will be OK and that, even if the realistic side is right, I'll be able to face whatever comes my way.
