[2020-11-01] Staying connected
COVID has changed many things for many people—some for the better, some for the worse. The greatest disruption has been in our ability to get together with friends and extended family.
With the passage of Halloween—an eerily quiet one this year—and the arrival of November, my thoughts turn to Christmas. As someone who is immunocompromised because of my chemotherapy treatments, I expect to spend Christmas much as I did Thanksgiving—celebrating with my husband and children while connecting with others virtually.
Recognizing the challenges of celebrating the holidays this year, I set out to discover some safe and creative ways to stay connected with loved ones in the cold months ahead. Here are the best tips I found.
Potluck plus videoconference
One family I know held a virtual potluck for Thanksgiving. Each family member made a dish, and one person volunteered to pick up all of the contributions. That person reassembled the dishes into Thanksgiving dinners and redistributed them to each household. The family then held a Zoom videoconference, with everyone eating the same delicious food. What a fantastic idea for people who live close by. You could take the same approach with a cookie exchange. One person could pick up or receive all the cookie contributions and repackage and distribute them so that recipients would get a variety of sweet treats. Yum.
Holiday greeting cards
I haven't mailed Christmas cards for years, partly because I always felt that I didn't have the time to do so and partly because not sending cards seemed like the more ecofriendly choice. This year, however, I think that old-fashioned greeting cards sent through the mail would be an extra special way to let loved ones know that I'm thinking of them. I've received many cards—including gifts within cards—in the past few months, and I've fallen in love with with this quaint way of communicating. One of my friends mails me a card every few weeks, in which she and her two children write short messages to encourage me as I continue in my treatment. That's the best kind of mail to get.
Virtual book (or poetry) club
I was recently inspired by a passage in Books for Living: Some Thoughts on Reading, Reflecting, and Embracing Life. Author Will Schwalbe shares a story about a woman who was feeling out of touch with her grandson, who lived in a different state. When she would call him to ask about school or how his day was, he would respond in one-word answers. "Fine. Nothing. Nope." Then one day, she asked him what he was reading. His answer was The Hunger Games—a series of novels for young adults. The grandmother decided to read the first volume. Then this happened: "The book helped this grandmother cut through the superficialities of phone chat and engage her grandson on the most important questions humans face about survival and destruction and loyalty and betrayal and good and evil, and about politics as well. And it helped her grandson engage with his grandmother on these same issues—not as a child in need of a lecture, but as a fellow seeker.... [T]hey were no longer just grandmother and grandson: they were two readers embarked on a journey together. Now her grandson couldn't wait to talk to her when she called.... The Hunger Games gave them inspiration for deeper discussions than they had ever had, and it provided them with a wealth of prompts for their conversations.... Other than the accident of family, they had never had much in common. Now they did. The conduit was reading."
For my weekly Zoom videoconferences with my mom and sister, I took a page from Books for Living, selecting a poem that we could all talk about. The first poem we discussed was Robert Frost's "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening"; today's poem was Robert Service's "My Madonna." Poems are short, readily accessible on the Internet and easy to reread just before the call. Consider sharing any form of art—books, poems, short stories, song lyrics—and then having a discussion. It may lead to an engaging conversation.
Virtual movie night
In researching this post, I discovered that several tools exist to enable people in different locations to watch movies simultaneously and discuss them. In How to watch videos with friends online, The Verge identifies several apps that can be used to host movie nights with friends online. For example, "Netflix Party syncs up your streams with those of your friends and adds a live chat on one side of the screen." It reminds me of those old movies where two people watch the same film on TV and talk over the phone. Another quaint tradition that gets an update in the time of COVID.
Creative expression
If you are the creative type, consider sharing your gift with others. Maybe you're a painter, a writer, a baker, a musician, or a sewer. Or a carpenter, a puppeteer, a poet, a knitter, or a singer. Whatever your talents, even if you're just a beginner, you could enrich the lives of friends, family, coworkers and neighbours by sharing the fruits of your labours. Drop off cookies at the home of an elderly neighbour. Send a song you wrote and performed to a friend by email. Record a podcast or make a funny video and send the link to your family.
Physically distanced walk
Walking in a winter wonderland is one of the best ways to get together with a friend or family member. You can physically distance while staying warm. Wearing a mask will provide not only added protection, but also added warmth. Find a street that's decked out for the holidays, and enjoy a stroll while looking at all the lights.
Your turn
I'd love to hear your ideas for how you will celebrate the holidays with loved ones whom you can't see in person this year. If I get enough ideas for a subsequent blog post, I will happily share them with everyone.
