[2020-11-12] The link between thoughts and feelings
I begin my reflection by sharing today's entry in A Year of Positive Thinking:
Everything you feel is a result of what you think. You feel what you feel because you think what you think. So if you don't like how you feel, then change what you are thinking. You do have control of your own thinking. When life hands you its worst, consider how you could change your perspective of the situation in order to shift your feelings around it.
This reminder comes at an opportune moment, as I'm still feeling pensive after writing about John McCrae yesterday. I was saddened by McCrae's story, knowing that he died a young man—only 45. I was struck by the fact that he went from being described as having a smile that "filled the eyes and illumined the face" and a walk that was as though "he were about to dance" to what his biographer called "an icon [who] had been broken."
Like McCrae, I have always been an optimistic person with an infectious smile. I wondered whether cancer could do to me what war did to McCrae. This is not to imply that facing cancer is at all on the level of being in a war. But like war, cancer does have the power to take away hope if we choose to dwell on it.
One of the benefits of going public with my story is hearing from others who have faced the same or a similar situation. One woman who reached out to me dealt with ovarian cancer seven years ago. She confided: "What I struggled with the most was a fear of recurrence. That probably continued for five years."
Fear. That's the thought behind my sadness.
And yet, in addition to being optimistic and positive, I am resilient. I bounce back from sadness quickly. Perhaps that's because I do precisely what author Cyndie Spiegel counsels in A Year of Positive Thinking: I figure out what thought is prompting a negative emotion, challenge the thought and, in so doing, change the feeling.
And so, I remind myself that many people face cancer and survive. And many of those survivors are changed for the better, becoming more thoughtful, caring and understanding individuals.
I give myself permission to feel all the emotions associated with cancer. Fear, yes, but also tremendous gratitude for the outpouring of love I have received.
I take my own advice and focus on today, enjoying each moment.
I consider that I have faced sadness before—especially the loss of my brother—and found happiness once more.
I reflect on everything I have going in my favour: a chance and relatively early discovery of my ovarian cancer, an otherwise healthy and strong body, a successful surgery and tolerable chemotherapy, an expert team of healthcare professionals leading my treatment, a positive outlook and incredible support system, and a talent to write and share my story, which leads to uplifting feedback from others and stories that inspire and console me.
Finally, I remember my mission, which includes growing from the experience of dealing with cancer and being an even brighter light in the world. Growth comes from adversity. Shining brightly comes from being honest—with myself and others.
I can do this.
