[2020-11-13] Chemo #3 and 100th post
I've never been so happy to receive chemotherapy as I was today. You see, it almost didn't happen. I am required to do blood work two days before each chemo treatment. Yesterday, I received a call from one of the chemo nurses at The Ottawa Hospital to tell me that my level of neutrophils, a type of white blood cell, was one point below the minimum threshold for chemotherapy to proceed. She asked that I repeat Wednesday's blood test this morning at 7:30 at The Ottawa Hospital's Cancer Centre. If my neutrophil level remained at or below 1.1, my chemotherapy would be delayed by a week. If the level rose to 1.2 or above, my chemotherapy would proceed.
So I arrived at the hospital at 7:00 a.m. to ensure that I would be the first in line at the lab, as the chemo nurse had asked. Once the lab opened at 7:30, the process was quick. I was out by 7:35 with assurances from the woman who took my blood that she would send my blood sample right away for analysis. I went up to the Cancer Centre to check in and await my fate: proceed with chemo or go home untreated. At 8:11, I received an email indicating that I had new test results in MyChart, but before I could open the app to look for my neutrophil number, I was called to the reception desk and dispatched to Pod 4. My chemo would proceed. I was ecstatic. I wanted to remain on the original schedule of every three weeks for my chemo, which I see as life-saving medicine.
To pass the time during my treatment, I watched I Am Woman on Netflix. The film presents the story of Helen Reddy, the Australian singer best known for her song "I Am Woman." When that song played in the film, I got tears in my eyes—real, roll-down-the-cheeks tears—at the chorus:
Oh yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong
(Strong)
I am invincible
(Invincible)
I am woman
Though Reddy wasn't writing about cancer when she composed the song with fellow Australian Ray Burton, the lyrics spoke to me this morning while I lay in a hospital bed receiving chemo drugs through an IV. My tears weren't tears of sorrow, but tears of courage and tenacity: "If I have to, I can do anything."
Today was also significant for being the halfway point in my chemotherapy and the 100th post in Jenesis. The daily exercise of writing my story and sharing my "wisdom born of pain" is therapeutic. I know that I would forget so many details of my journey if I weren't recording them every day.
Helen Reddy's "I A Woman" became an anthem for women in the 1970s and beyond. She shared a perspective that wasn't widely present in music at the time, noting in Rolling Stone magazine, "I realized the song I was looking for didn’t exist, and I was going to have to write it myself."
While I'm not the trailblazer that Helen Reddy was—given that many before me have blogged about their journeys with ovarian cancer—I am happy to add my voice to the chorus of women who have had to deal with this fierce disease.
