[2020-11-14] Every life you touch
A friend recently sent me a wonderful gift: the gorgeous coffee table book Women: The National Geographic Image Collection. It's filled with striking images of a diverse set of women. The book also includes interviews with two dozen women who are accomplished in their fields or communities. Passages in four interviews really spoke to me.
Oprah Winfrey
I loved Oprah's response to the question, "When you talk to younger women, what kind of advice do you give them?"
The advice is always the same: The truth is the truth is the truth is the truth, and nothing works better in any endeavor than being the truth of yourself.
I am endeavouring, through this blog, to share my truth about how I am dealing with cancer. My truth is not the same as someone else's truth, as everyone's life and circumstances are unique. But I do think it's important to be, as Oprah says, "the truth of yourself."
Oprah also recounts a conversation she had with well-known poet Maya Angelou.
I remember when I came back from opening the school for girls in South Africa, I was sitting at Maya's kitchen table while she was making biscuits, and I said, "That school is going to be my greatest legacy." And she said, "Your legacy isn't some big grand gesture. It isn't a school with your name on it. Your legacy is every life you touch, everybody you encounter." So people emphasize the big things, the joining, and the causes—but it's what you do everyday. It's how you live everyday as a woman citizen here on Planet Earth at this time.
This quote is great on a number of levels. First, I love the humble setting: Oprah Winfrey sitting at Maya Angelou's kitchen table while the latter makes biscuits. Second, I love Maya Angelou's statement that our legacy is not the result of some big grand gesture; rather, it is the lives we touch every day. Just today, a young woman wrote to tell me this story: "We’ve only 'met' a few times at work. The first time was 2 months after my start.... I had to present at a...meeting and my DG was away unexpectedly so I was flying solo. I was nervous and you were sitting at the end of the table and welcomed me with a friendly smile. It was incredibly comforting." Defining legacy as every life touched means that all of us can—and, in fact, do—leave a legacy, not just those who build a school, or write volumes of poetry, or publish a blog.
Jacinda Arden
I first learned of Jacinda Arden, the Prime Minister of New Zealand, in March 2019 after the mosque shootings in Christchurch. Newspaper articles at the time, like this one in The Guardian, noted her empathy towards the survivors of the massacre. And, in its introduction to Arden, National Geographic states, "in March 2019, after a gunman killed 50 people in two Christchurch mosques, the world saw Arden's strength and empathy as she swiftly pressed for gun control and mourned with the Muslim community." In response to the question "What do you consider to be your greatest strength?" Arden says:
I believe that empathy is the greatest strength that I have. And I think it's a shame that for too long, strengths like that have been characterized as weakness—because in politics, that's exactly what you need. You want people to be able to think of life in others' shoes. We hear from thousands of people from diverse backgrounds. If we only come from our experiences and view of the world, I think we would poorly serve our communities.
Arden is also known for being only the second head of state in the world to give birth while in office. National Geographic asks: "what do you think is the most important lesson to teach your daughter?"
Kindness, and helping others. If we consistently had values of empathy and kindness, we would approach all of the world's challenges so differently—poverty, inequality, even climate change. Simple, simple values that, even when we do teach our children, we kind of forgo in our expectation of our leaders and leadership. Why should we forgo that? And so I will persistently teach my child—no matter what her age is, even when she's an adult—I will preach kindness.
I have always espoused kindness and empathy. For instance, putting myself in the shoes of my employees and trying to understand the challenges they're facing made me a better leader. This same focus has, I believe, made me a better person.
Tara Houska
Like many of the women interviewed by National Geographic, Tara Houska was unknown to me. An Ojibwe, she is the National Campaigns Director of Honor the Earth and co-founder of Not Your Mascots, a nonprofit organization that helps to fight stereotypes of Indigenous peoples. In response to the question, "What advice would you give to young women today?" Houska states:
Not being afraid is very important. You may feel like you failed and there's no way to recover, but you can. Life will continue and it will just make you stronger and make you learn something about yourself. Try to remember the line of ancestors behind you and those to come. Feeling like a link in the chain makes you a lot stronger.
I loved Houska's reference to the line of ancestors behind you and those to come. I feel like I am linked in a chain with others who have faced cancer before me and who will face it after me. This blog is helping me to connect with other women who have had cancer, particularly ovarian cancer, and—I hope—will help women who, unfortunately, will be diagnosed with this disease in the future. We are all stronger through our support of one another.
Melinda Gates
Melinda Gates, co-chair of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, had an interesting response to National Geographic's question: "What advice would you give to young women today?"
Fitting in is overrated. I spent my first few years at my first job out of college doing everything I could to make myself more like the people around me. It didn’t bring out the best in me—and it didn't position me to bring out the best in others. The best advice I have to offer is: Seek out people and environments that empower you to be nothing but yourself.
This quote stood out for me because so many people are encouraging me to tell my story and supporting my going public with it. I feel so empowered to be nothing but myself, and I have all of you to thank for that.
