[2020-11-20] What will you do?
Today's entry in A Year of Positive Thinking is about the dilemma of time:
The dilemma with time is that we often think we have more than we do. But today, right now—this is all we are guaranteed. Our time is limited, and there is no negotiating that reality. What will you do with the time that you have left?
Time is an interesting concept.
We measure the short term by our watches, counting the seconds, minutes and hours. Many of us feel like we never have enough of this kind of time. When I worked as an Assistant Deputy Minister, I was always time poor. I had way more to do than I had time in which to do it.
We measure the long term by our calendars, counting the days, weeks and years. As the excerpt from A Year of Positive Thinking suggests, we often think that we have all the time in the world. I did. When I became an ADM at 50, I knew that the job would require an intense commitment, at least five years until I was eligible for retirement. And then—I told myself—I'd have decades after 55 to achieve a better work-life balance and to do all the personal things I didn't otherwise have time for. My cancer diagnosis has brought home to me that I truly don't know how much long-term time I have.
Interestingly, stepping away from my job to focus on my health has made me time rich, at least in the short-term sense of time. I have time to spend with loved ones, go for a walk in the woods, bake for my family and others.
But cancer may ultimately make me time poor, at least in the long-term sense of time.
The reality is that I had no more certainty of the number of years on my calendar before my diagnosis than after. Perhaps that's a silver lining of learning that one has a life-threatening disease. It reminds us of the easily forgotten inevitability, namely, that our time is limited.
And that leads to the question, "What will you do with the time you have left?"
That's a little bit like asking someone what they will do when they retire. I think that I'll have no problem filling my days when I decide to step away from work permanently. I expect those days to be much like my days now (minus the cancer treatments, if all goes well).
What will I do?
I will show loved ones that I care. I will write often, with the aim of inspiring and uplifting others. I will share my good fortune with others by giving of myself. I will share what I've learned.
Along with giving, I will take. I will take time in nature and walk every day, as much as possible with loved ones. I will take advantage of beautiful weather. I will take compliments and say thank you. I will take in the beauty that surrounds me—in music, words and images. I will take all the love that is given to me and do my best to reflect that love back out to the world.
What will you do with the time that you have left?
