[2020-12-26] Nausea and love
It's a true pyjama day today, with a nap in the morning and another this afternoon.
I so easily forget how uncomfortable recovery from chemotherapy is. Calling the days immediately after chemo "pyjama days" makes them sound like moments of indulgent self-pampering. The reality is that, at least today, I simply feel nauseated. It is possible that the toll chemotherapy takes on my body is increasing with each treatment. But, thankfully, after this recovery, I'll have only one more to go through.
I share this not to solicit pity, but as an honest telling of the realities of dealing with cancer, which is one of my goals with this blog.
Fortunately, feeling sick doesn't bring me down emotionally. I know that this will pass, and that in a few days I will feel better.
As someone who is always busy, it is a departure for me to simply stop. I am fortunate that I live with three loving adults who are there to cook and fetch for me, and to let me sleep when I need to. Not everyone who faces cancer has these kinds of supports, and I don't take them for granted.
A friend of mine wrote to me today, commenting on how different Christmas felt this year. In a hopeful way, she quoted the wisdom of Dr. Seuss's the Grinch:
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas ... perhaps ... means a little bit more!"
For me, the highlight of Christmas was an after-dinner game of Boomers vs. Millennials trivia. Shane and Mel soundly defeated Chris and me on both games we played. But that didn't matter. What mattered is that we were all together, enjoying each other's company,
Yes, this has been a very different Christmas for me, but one thing that isn't different—and is perhaps even greater—is the love of family and the best wishes of so many friends. And these sentiments don't need to be relayed in person to be meaningful. Across Zoom screens and telephones and emails and holiday cards and social media platforms, we are letting our loved ones know how much we care about them. That surely is what Christmas and all other similar holidays are about.
