[2021-01-27] Lean on each other
This afternoon, I listened in on a session on mental health organized by my communications colleagues. The event featured Séan McCann, a founder of the band Great Big Sea and an advocate for people with mental health and addiction issues.
McCann addressed employees of Health Canada and the Public Health Agency of Canada, who are at the forefront of the national response to the COVID-19 pandemic. I know how hard staff of the two organizations have been working over the past year and how tired many of them are. McCann provided an inspirational talk, combined with uplifting music. He said: "If COVID has taught us one thing, it's how dependent we really are on each other, especially during real hard times, like today." He continued: "COVID has also shown us, without a doubt, that our life here on this planet is so fragile and so precious. And everything we say and everything we do—it matters."
He could have substituted "cancer" for COVID, and the sentiment would have fit. As I face cancer, I find myself dependent on so many people and benefiting from their altruism and concern. Cancer has also reminded me that my life is fragile and precious.
McCann advised employees: "Now is the time to look to each other for consolation and support. The last mile of any marathon is always the most difficult. It's been a super long race—a full year now—and it's not over yet."
When I was in the thick of the pandemic fight—before my diagnosis of ovarian cancer turned my attention to a new fight—the only thing that got me through each day was the support of my colleagues. The months between January and August 2020 were the hardest of my 32-year career in the federal public service, but what will always stand out for me is the kindness and compassion of colleagues.
Since then, I have felt like I was running a marathon of a different type, one focused on a rolling series of tests, treatments, appointments and recovery. Just as the fight against COVID persists, my battle with ovarian cancer continues. It has been a long race, and it's not over, but it has been made much more bearable by the love of the many people who are cheering me on.
McCann implored the participants in today's session: "Please don't give up...especially when the finish line is finally in sight. Lean on each other in the days to come, share the weight of your burdens, and take the time to show each other that you care, every day."
Later in the session, the moderator shared a comment from a participant who wrote: "I'm burnt out. I need help. Stigma is stopping me from getting it, and so is the fear of letting my team down. They're suffering too."
From my own experience, two things in particular make us reluctant to seek help for ourselves. The first is the stigma associated with acknowledging that we are struggling, especially in a culture that recognizes and rewards warriors. The second is a reticence to make things even more challenging for our colleagues, many of whom are also feeling exhausted. When I was in the workplace, I tried to always be strong and to take the burden off others, even if it meant placing it on my shoulders. And it took me a full week to step away from work after my diagnosis with ovarian cancer because I didn't want to let my team down. In the end, I did step away, and it was OK. As I said to someone today, only you know how bad you're hurting. Tell someone; it's the first step toward getting the help you need. Sometimes just talking about a difficulty we're encountering can provide relief, and it almost always provides a fresh perspective.
As McCann stated: "Peer support is a powerful thing. The people who are going to be most receptive and best understand the pain you're experiencing and the struggle you're going through [are] your immediate coworkers, your immediate friends, your team." He went on to say, "People are kind; people care; believe that...have faith in that."
I couldn't agree more. If I've learned one thing in the last six months it is that people do care and are incredibly kind, especially if you share how you're really feeling.
