[2021-02-12] Remember your friends

A friend wrote to me today and described how our relationship makes her feel. More than happy, she feels loved, understood, appreciated and helpful. For my part, our friendship makes me feel valued and spoiled—the latter because I think that I receive more than I give in our relationship.

We have gotten to know each other much more since my diagnosis, bonding over our experiences with similar health challenges. We've shared recipes, encouragement, and stories about ourselves and our families. She sends me quotes in response to my posts and links to helpful content on the internet. When I was first diagnosed, she spent an hour with me on the phone, walking me through what to expect from surgery and how to recover gracefully. In fact, one of the quotes she shared was this one:

Recovery is a process. It takes time. It takes patience. It takes friends.

I have benefited tremendously from her guidance.

My email exchange with my friend lines up with today's entry in A Year of Positive Thinking, which characterizes friends as the family you choose:

Some friendships will grow and shift along with you, while others will dissolve as you evolve. Try not to take this personally; it doesn't make the relationship any less valuable. Faithfully honor the friends that grow with you. Cherish them. Consider yourself one of the lucky ones to have such long friendships. And when time allows, welcome new friendships with curiosity, love, and a wide-open heart. These new friends, too, can become part of your beautifully curated family.

With Valentine's Day just two days away, you might use the occasion to remind your friends what they mean to you. Bake some goodies and leave them on their doorstep, perhaps with a homemade Valentine's Day card. Send flowers or a plant. Give them a call. Watch a movie simultaneously. Write and send a lover letter explaining all the qualities you value in them. Email them photos from past get-togethers. Meet up for a physically distanced walk. Make a donation to a cause in your friend's name. Compile a playlist on Spotify of songs that remind you of your friend.

This year, more than ever, we could all use a boost. So remember your friends as well as your family on Valentine's Day.