[2021-02-17] Overcoming
Today, I spent the morning in my pyjamas, curled up on the couch, reading and typing. No dishes, no baking, no puttering around the house.
By the afternoon, I had the energy to take a shower, put on clothes (yoga pants and a yoga jacket count, right?), do a load of laundry and go for a short walk with my husband. It was lovely outside, and I was pleased that I could take in some sunshine. But I was also happy to return to my cozy couch and warm my toes. I took some anti-nausea medication and resumed my quiet activities.
The text that held my attention today was a book of quotes on the meaning of life. One that impressed me was this one from Helen Keller:
Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.
Though Keller was not likely speaking of illness when she shared these words, I found them very applicable to cancer. We often hear that someone has been diagnosed with cancer—a disease inextricably associated with suffering—without, perhaps, hearing of their overcoming it. Or we hear of the person who died following a battle with cancer without having been aware that they had been diagnosed with it in the first place. On other occasions, we learn that an individual is a cancer survivor, having faced and overcome the disease before we knew them.
What came to mind upon reading this quote is how often we hear only one part of the story: the beginning or the end, and, even less often, the middle. I believe that there is value in seeing the full arc of someone's experience of living with cancer, especially if the tale is told in real time. We would hear of the diagnosis, imagining all the challenges ahead. But we would also be able to follow along with the treatment, perhaps learning a thing or two about how much or how little suffering it entails, at least for that one person. And then we would witness the outcome of the treatment.
It is true that cancer brings suffering, but it's also true that many stories exist of victories over the disease. And by the latter, I don't mean simply completing treatment months after the diagnosis and being in remission. I mean daily moments of overcoming cancer's power to cause suffering while the patient is in the throes of the battle—moments expressed in love, happiness, joy, and even pleasure. Such triumph is present in kind words communicated to the newly diagnosed to let them know how much they are loved and to wish them well in their journey. It is found in the happiness of reconnecting with old friends. It exists in the joy of completing each treatment step, such as surgery, chemotherapy, medication, with the support of healthcare professionals and loved ones. And it is resident in daily pleasures, such as the success of being able to walk a little further each day after surgery, or—as I experienced today—the comfort that comes from eating a few crackers to calm an upset stomach.
I recognize that not everyone wants to share a very private journey in a public way or to think about cancer regularly.
For my part, I see the relief that family members and friends get from knowing that I'm making progress and not suffering too much. Through my daily blog posts, I let many, many people know—in one fell swoop—how I'm doing, so I don't have to repeat my updates. Yes, it means that I'm thinking about my cancer every day, but that has been therapeutic. I used to hate cancer. But just as I have learned to co-exist with winter and even experience moments of joy despite the cold and ice and snow, I have learned to co-exist with cancer. I have enjoyed many wonderful occasions in the past six months while dealing with the disease, including ringing the bell to mark the end of chemotherapy.
Tales of suffering and of overcoming hardship are universal and inspiring, such as fighting depression through regular exercise or tackling ADHD through organization of tasks.
The more we share stories of overcoming cancer, as the journey proceeds, the more we will diminish cancer's power to evoke fear in all who hear that word.
