[2021-02-18] Permission
The summer between grade 12 and grade 13, I started writing a romance novel. It was unoriginal, uninspired and, thankfully, unpublished. But it did serve one life-altering purpose. It convinced me that my future was in writing, not in science, which had been the path I was pursuing up to that point. A chance remark by someone who told me about Carleton University's journalism program solidified my new direction.
When my son, Shane, was in grade 12, he wanted to apply to university. I wasn't convinced that he would be accepted, as his marks in high school weren't especially high. But rather than say, "I'm not paying for an application to university only to find that you don't get accepted," I said, "You can apply to university, but you also have to apply for college." Oh Mom of little faith, Shane might have said. He did get accepted to university (in addition to college). Not only did he complete his undergraduate degree, but he also went on to law school and fulfilled his dream of becoming a lawyer.
My daughter, Melanie, opted for linguistics. As her brother did, Melanie chose her program of study. Like me, she was in and out of university in four years, as she preferred the work world to the academic world. I concurred with her choices.
What these three stories have in common is that we each decided, as young people, what direction we wanted to pursue.
As a parent, I believe in supporting young people in following their interests and in giving them the latitude to discover their passions (notwithstanding my insistence on the college application). I got thinking about this today after coming across this advice from Kevin Kelly, founding executive editor of Wired magazine:
Lots of people will tell you to follow your bliss: "Seek your passions, and money will follow." This is true, but impractical. When you are starting out almost no one knows what their passions are, and you become paralyzed because you can't give your all until you find your passion. A better strategy is to forget your bliss and to find your passion by mastering something, almost anything. As you master some skill, giving your 100% to it, you will inevitably move toward your passion, step by step, all the while earning a living. Most likely it will take all your life to find your bliss. So don't wait for your passion. Just master something.
Kelly's description is consistent with my experience. I had a passion for writing and chose the university program that most closely aligned with that passion while allowing me to acquire practical skills that I could use to earn a living.
Writing has been a constant in my career and in my life. Today, my writing is helping me to explore my feelings as I undergo treatment for ovarian cancer, to stay in touch with the many people who are following my story, and to derive and share meaning from my health challenge.
Whether you're young and trying to determine what you want to do in life or you're older and still figuring it out, give yourself permission to explore your passions and to acquire various skills. Doing so makes for a more interesting and fulfilling career and life.
And if you're a parent, support your kids as they explore their options. It's hard for any of us to figure out what we want to do in life and impossible to know where things might end up.
I have always wanted to write a book. That book may turn out to be a memoir of my journey with ovarian cancer. I certainly didn't see that in my future when I was writing my romance novel back in the summer of 1983.
