[2021-03-02] Life after cancer, COVID and career
A friend asked me yesterday about life beyond work, saying that I would have all sorts of opportunities if I want them. It got me thinking about life after cancer, COVID and career.
My experience over the past seven months, as I've been on health leave to deal with ovarian cancer, is that I have more that I want to do each day than time in which to do it. I'm like the person whose eyes are bigger than her stomach. Of course, recovery from cancer has left me with limited energy, so perhaps when I've completely recuperated, I'll be able to achieve more in a day. And there's no question that writing a daily blog post takes a considerable amount of time, especially when I do research before putting fingers to keyboard.
But even if I had more energy and spent less time writing, I'm sure that I'd have plenty to do. I don't believe that I will face the same crisis as those who have fretted about retirement, wondering what they would do with themselves. In fact, I'm worried about the opposite—that I will have too many possibilities, interests and commitments.
In thinking about my future, I found this quote from physicist Michio Kaku enlightening:
Beyond work and love, I would add two other ingredients that give meaning to life. First, to fulfill whatever talents we are born with. However blessed we are by fate with different abilities and strengths, we should try to develop them to the fullest, rather than allow them to atrophy and decay. ... Second, we should try to leave the world a better place than when we entered it. As individuals, we can make a difference, whether it is to probe the secrets of Nature, to clean up the environment and work for peace and social justice, or to nurture the inquisitive, vibrant spirit of the young by being a mentor and a guide.
I like Kaku's perspective on fulfilling talents and leaving the world a better place. Both of these goals can be achieved through work and love as well as other activities.
Having spent so much time on work in the last three decades, and especially in the last five years, I think it's time to switch the work-love balance, especially given the life-threatening illness I'm facing and the associated uncertainty about the future. As I begin to contemplate life beyond paid work and intense cancer treatment, I want to spend more time with loved ones, once COVID permits. This includes not only being with family and friends but doing things for them as I pay back and pay forward the many kindnesses that have been extended to me since I was diagnosed with cancer. I adore what writer and author Leo Christopher says: "There's only one thing more precious than our time and that's who we spend it on."
Regarding work, before I consider paid or volunteer endeavours at some point post-retirement, I need to allow time for all the daily chores that make life enjoyable: cooking, cleaning and puttering about the house so that we can enjoy great food, a comfortable house, a pretty and productive garden, among other things.
What Kaku doesn't include in his statement is health, which—like love—is often short-changed when work takes over. Daily walks are essential to my physical and mental health, so I want to ensure that I have time for these in any future routine. I also want to reserve time for reading, which is both a pleasurable activity and a source of inspiration for my writing.
When it comes to talent, again, I have many from which to choose to make the world a better place. I would put writing at the top of that list. While one of the hardest skills to exercise, writing is one of the easiest with which to touch a lot of people. My daily posts are reaching more and more people, spreading awareness about ovarian cancer and hope for those facing this disease and other cancers. I can't imagine a future without writing, be that a continuation of Jenesis or the consolidation of my cancer journey into a book.
Writing lends itself to advocacy, leadership and communications more generally—skills that I have honed over the past 30 years. I've also spent many years mentoring young people, helping them to figure out what they want from their career and how to get it. I did this both directly, through coaching conversations, and indirectly, through my first blog, Café Jen, which focused on success at work.
As I think about leaving the world a better place, I'm reminded of a Café Jen post I wrote years ago on this very subject, taking inspiration from the Boy Scouts motto to leave the world a little better than you found it. That post included a quote from author Tony Schwartz, who advised: "After a conversation, ask yourself whether the person you were talking to walked away feeling better or worse." My experience is that people who leave conversations with you feeling better than when they arrived remember you and often pay forward the positive feeling you engendered in them.
In thinking about how I want to leave the world a better place, I keep coming back to two things more than any others:
- helping ovarian cancer patients, including through greater awareness of the disease's symptoms and advocacy for more research into diagnostic tools, thus leading to the earlier diagnosis of the disease, and
- helping people, especially young women, understand and realize their career aspirations.
Coincidentally, these two objectives were embodied in my two blogs: Jenesis and Café Jen. It's fascinating how much alignment exists between what we spend our discretionary time doing and what's most important to us.
Though I've taken inspiration from Kaku's advice in considering the next phase of my life, anyone could think about how their work, love and pursuit of health allow them to use their talents to make the world a better place.
