[2021-03-16] Put on your shoes
"When you've run marathons, a short jog seems hardly worth it."
I wrote those words three years ago when I was struggling to find time to write because of the demands of my job. A friend had tweeted that she missed Café Jen; I missed my blog too. I was feeling guilty that I hadn't been able to keep up with my previous schedule of weekly posts.
I knew that I didn't have the time to produce the kind of articles I loved to write: well researched and in depth. I was afraid that something shorter and less detailed would be viewed as a fluff piece.
And so I let the fear of looking foolish or lazy or out of ideas keep me from writing at all. My perfectionism was less about "a deep love of being meticulous," as author Michael Law says, and more about fear—what Law calls: "Fear of making a mistake. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of failure."
Looking back now, I see that my perfectionism led me to believe that if I couldn't produce a perfect product, it wasn't worth producing anything at all.
Three years later, I am once again writing. And not just once a week, but every day. Perhaps the focus of Jenesis—my journey back to health—allows me to write more spontaneously. Jenesis posts are often a reflection of my state of mind on any given day, while Café Jen posts were frequently the outcome of research I had done.
But perhaps the most significant difference is that I've matured in those three years. (Admittedly, too, I have more time to write.)
I read somewhere years ago that if you're feeling reluctant to exercise, just put on your shoes and get out the door. Getting started is often the hardest part. I also read a quote to this effect: better the 30-minute walk I do than the 60-minute run I don't. In other words, any effort is better than no effort at all.
I found my three-year-old statement about the futility of a short jog in lieu of a marathon comical because of how much has changed in my life in the past seven months. I used to run marathons everyday in my job—from sunup to sundown and way beyond. Now, I measure my success by a good sleep score, healthy food and drink, fewer aches and pains, a reasonable walk, and a decent blog post.
I still strive to produce the best piece of writing that I can, and proofread it obsessively to make it as error free as possible. But at the end of the day, figuratively and literally, I publish it. And the funny thing is that every post, without fail, touches at least one person. Even the posts that have me shrugging my shoulders and saying "well, this will have to do" inevitably resonate with someone.
We probably all have things we avoid doing because we can't do them in the way we used to. Maybe it's dancing. Maybe it's speaking a second language. Maybe it's writing letters. We would be wise to heed the words of Mark Twain: "Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection."
So the next time you're thinking that a certain action is not worth it because you can no longer do it perfectly, just put on your shoes and get out the door.
