[2021-04-30] Survivors
I had a lovely conversation this morning with a fellow ovarian cancer survivor. We have many things in common, beyond having the same disease. We are committed to sharing our stories to raise awareness about ovarian cancer and its symptoms, which can be very difficult to distinguish from those of any number of less serious illnesses. We are grateful for the support we receive from so many people, both those we knew before being diagnosed and those we have come to know by virtue of talking about our journey. We recognize the benefits to our mental health of writing about our experience.
We differ in some respects. I am in my early 50s while she is in her early 30s. We have different types of ovarian cancer and therefore underwent different treatments. I have grown children while she has yet to have kids.
Still, we immediately found in one another a kindred spirit that comes from facing the same life-threatening disease. While we are realistic about the challenges of ovarian cancer, we share a belief in the value of positive thinking.
Our conversation reminded me of a helpful article that came up in my news feed this morning: Positive Thinking Is Powerful During and After Cancer Treatment.
Writing on curetoday.com, Amy Paturel acknowledges that while studies looking at whether optimism improves cancer and helps people with cancer live longer are largely inconclusive, scientists do recognize plenty of perks associated with positive thinking. She notes:
While there are no data to suggest that staying on the sunny side improves outcomes, there’s no doubt that if you have hope, you’re more motivated to try complementary treatments, ask questions and get second opinions. You’re also more likely to advocate for yourself.
Paturel provides the example of Terri Cettina, a survivor of pancreatic cancer. Cettina told her health care team that she didn't want to hear speculation about life expectancy or poor survival rates unless she specifically asked about such matters. Instead, she wanted to hear about survivors.
As a health writer, Cettina knew how bad the prognosis was.
"So, I skimmed over the scary statistics and focused on researching hopeful stories about survivors. That became my coping mechanism."
Cettina connected with more and more survivors, with the aim of learning everything she could about how they were beating the disease.
But she didn't stop there. She reached out to her friends and contacts on Facebook.
I hadn’t been a big Facebook user, but I felt strongly that sharing this scary news with my network would somehow be helpful," Cettina says. "The response was incredible. Just reading positive words from friends and loved ones made me feel better."
Cettina also worked with a therapist to both cultivate gratitude and challenge negative thought patterns.
"I learned to ask myself: ‘Do you have proof that a certain bad thing is going to happen?’ If I don’t have proof, the next question is, ‘How do you feel when you believe this sad story?’" Cettina says.
She learned to recognize repetitive negative thoughts that weren't serving her.
Patrurel quotes several experts, including Dr. William Dale, head of supportive care at a cancer center in California, who advises:
Forge new relationships, join a cause that’s important to you or take a bucket-list trip that you’ve postponed. "Just don’t stop having positive experiences because you’re sick."
She also shares helpful guidance from Dr. Allyson Ocean, associate professor of medicine at a New York City college:
"I think people’s mindset needs to be that they’re not dying of cancer. They’re living with cancer," Ocean says. "To live a life of happiness and positivity is like medicine, and I do think it can help change the trajectory of the disease, even if it’s only a temporary change."
Ocean, who co-founded a nonprofit focused on research into pancreatic cancer, goes on to say:
"Our goal is to connect patients to the researchers, doctors and survivors who can give them reason to hope—not just because there is reason to hope, but because having a positive attitude enables patients to fight the disease in a stronger way."
So much of this advice was echoed in my conversation this morning. I shared with my new friend that I believe that, through my blog, I am providing an example of someone who is living with cancer while being hopeful and positive. At the same time, I am realistically and honestly acknowledging that some days are tough, which provides reassurance to people in a similar situation that such feelings are normal and to be expected. Overall, though, I choose not to wallow in negativity.
It was a pleasure to connect with another ovarian cancer survivor today, particularly one who, like me, is looking for the rainbow in the rain.
