[2021-05-01] Indecision

I've been uncharacteristically indecisive today. I couldn't readily come up with a theme for today's post. I dithered over whether to make a dessert and, if so, which one. I debated whether to meditate now or later. It seemed that everything I contemplated was met with a feeling of low energy and uncertainty.

When my daughter saw me gazing at a cookbook, she asked what I was planning to make. I admitted that I was having trouble landing on a choice. She patiently listened to the options and made a few additional suggestions. When I finally picked an idea I was leaning towards, she said, "let's do that." Before I could change my mind again, we were in the kitchen, pulling out the ingredients for Authentic British Scones, a recipe similar to the one I usually make except with the addition of an egg.

The final product was delicious―a light, flaky, sweet scone with a soft texture and wonderful crumb. It was easy to make and easy on my stomach, which was a little upset today. Perhaps my longer-than-usual walk this morning with my kids was more than my little body could handle. I felt tired today even though I slept well last night.

As I looked for inspiration to console myself for my indecision, I found only stern warnings or jokes:
  • More is lost by indecision than wrong decision. Indecision is the thief of opportunity. It will steal you blind. ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
  • Indecision is the enemy of progress. Not saying yes to one possibility is saying no to them all. ~ Michael Haggstrom
  • Indecision and delays are the parents of failure. ~ George Canning
  • The only thing worse than being incompetent, or being unkind, or being evil, is being indecisive. ~ Thoroughbreds
  • Right or wrong, make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn't make a decision. ~ Unknown
  • Indecision may or may not be my problem. ~ Jimmy Buffett
  • I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not sure. ~ Tommy Cooper
I actually found these quite amusing, especially the quote from the movie Thoroughbreds. Is indecision really worse than being incompetent, unkind or evil?

I see my indecision, temporary as it was, as a reflection of my energy level. Some days, I have more drive than others. In fact, I often push myself more than I probably should, attempting to regain my pre-cancer output. That will come in time. Until then, I will be patient with myself and listen to my body. (And right now, my body says, "it's time for a scone.")