[2021-05-09] Mother's Day
When one of my cousins lost her mom years ago, she said to me, "Never take your mother for granted." That comment had a profound effect on me, and I've never forgotten it. A dozen or so years later, I am lucky to still have my mother in my life. My mom, Olivette, is 82.
When my father died in 1976, Mom was only 37, with six children between the ages of 6 and 16. She kept our family moving forward, seeing us all through school and into adulthood, while returning to work outside the home and continuing to run the farm.
I take my work ethic from her. Even in her 80s, Mom shows little decline in her energy level or her mental sharpness. She is quite remarkable. I hope to match her longevity.
I also feel blessed to be a mother myself. My children―Shane (30) and Melanie (28)―are my greatest achievements. I am proud of the adults they have become. They are smart, responsible and caring human beings.
By today's standard, I was a young mother, having had my son at 24 and my daughter at 26.
Shane was a surprise―a welcome surprise as it turned out. Chris and I had been living together for only five months when I suspected that I was pregnant. Before work one day, I went to the pharmacy across the street from our apartment and dropped off a urine sample (I don't know why I didn't use a home pregnancy test). A few hours later, I received a call at my office indicating that the result was positive. "So that means I'm pregnant?" I asked, needing to be 100% sure that I understood what "positive" meant. "Yes, you're pregnant" came the curt reply.
I called Chris at his work to share the news. I don't know why I felt compelled to tell him immediately, as opposed to waiting until we could be together, face to face, in the evening. But presumably he was waiting for word on the outcome of the test. After I confirmed that I was pregnant, he said, "I need to go sit down."
Following the initial shock, Chris, already 35, took to his role readily, caring for me as I suffered through morning sickness and then caring for Shane when I went back to work after six months of maternity leave.
Unlike Shane, Melanie was planned, though also somewhat of a surprise. Having had two miscarriages after giving birth to Shane, I stopped doing pregnancy tests, figuring that what would be would be. At the funeral of Chris' father, I started feeling nauseated, a sensation that persisted beyond just a few hours or days. I felt just like I had felt when pregnant with Shane. My instincts were right: I was pregnant. Nine months later, Chris would be the first person in the world to announce that our second child was a girl, completing what some call a millionaire's family.
My greatest achievement is, no doubt, also Chris' greatest achievement. He became Mr. Mom when Shane was six months old and was the daytime caregiver to both our children throughout their school years.
When my daughter was in kindergarten, she was asked what she wanted to be when she grew up. "A daddy" was her response. To her, a daddy stayed home and took care of the kids. I've always recalled that story fondly. I believe that the stability of having a parent in the home benefited our children immensely. It also made my life so much easier, as I was able to focus on my career while Chris cared for our children during the day, accompanied them on school outings, and shuttled them to all their appointments.
I'm grateful that I had my children when I was in my 20s. I've had three decades to impart my wisdom to them and to help prepare them for life. I hope to continue doing so for many more years.
To all the mothers, grandmothers, adoptive mothers, foster mothers, caregivers, aunts, big sisters, mentors, coaches, leaders, neighbours, nurses, teachers and volunteers who have cared for, listened to and guided children: thank you for mothering the next generation. Happy Mother's Day.
