[2021-05-21] Take the first step
Today's entry in A Year of Positive Thinking includes this guidance:
If you want love, be love; invite it in by offering it to others. If you seek joy, be joy; act in a way that is joyful, and allow others to experience it alongside you. Be what you hope for; allow whatever is on the inside to be how you love on the outside.
It reminded me of one of my favourite songs: "Get Closer" by Seals and Crofts. The chorus goes like this:
Darlin' if you want me to be
Closer to you, get closer to me
Darlin' if you want me to be
Closer to you, get closer to me
Darlin' if you want me to love
Love only you, then love only me
Darlin' if you want me to see
See only you, then see only me
To me, the song goes beyond reciprocity ("if you want me to be closer to you, get closer to me") to evoke the notion of first steps ("get closer to me if you want me to be closer to you").
At times in my relationship with Chris, I have felt distant from him. It was convenient—though not necessarily accurate—to conclude that he had pulled away from me or that he wasn't making the same effort as I. Listening to "Get Closer" always served as a humbling reminder that I had the power to take the first step, that I could give the love I wanted to receive, that I could share the joy that I wanted to find.
And so, 30 years later, we're still together. Still loving, supporting and feeding each other (one of our love languages is definitely food). Still playing Jeopardy. Still spending time together while allowing for time apart (it would be impossible for me to write this blog if Chris weren't so supportive of "me time" beyond "we time").
I've never told my kids, let alone my husband, about the significance to me of "Get Closer." There is magic in music, and there is magic in taking the first step in a relationship.
