[2021-06-08] Everything is copy
Nora Ephron, screenwriter of such classic movies as When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, You've Got Mail and Julie & Julia, used to say "Everything is copy." And by that she meant that every experience—good, bad or otherwise—can serve as the basis for a story we tell later in life.
In the moment, it can be difficult to let go of an embarrassing instance or to accept that we made a mistake or to see the universal applicability of a health battle, but these very situations often become fodder for funny stories, coaching examples and cautionary tales.
Sharing stories also helps us to connect with other people. When we talk about an embarrassing incident, we demonstrate humility, a sense of humour, and a willingness to poke fun at ourselves. When we describe an error we committed, we display an openness to learning from mistakes and an acceptance that we're all human. And when we share a health struggle, we often show that we care more about educating the other person than about preserving our own modesty. All of this makes us likable and relatable.
My story from today might serve as a lesson to others and a reminder to myself that when it isn't right, keep pushing until it is.
I got new glasses a week ago. When I picked them up, Optician #1 made a couple of small adjustments but essentially sent me on my way with the trite "come back and see us if they're not right" advice. I should have returned the next day when the arms were bothering the backs of my ears. However, I thought that maybe I just needed to get used to them and feared that if I had them loosened, they would feel too loose.
Today, I finally went back. Optician #2 adjusted them a total of three times, but only because I gently insisted after adjustment #2 that they still didn't feel right. Again, he sent me on my way with an invitation to return if my glasses still weren't right.
A few hours later, I went back. I wasn't going to go through another evening with the pain of improperly fitted glasses. This time, I was served by Optician #3, a clearly more experienced professional. Her approach was completely different. She observed and adjusted and tested the frames on my face over and over—at least seven times—before she finally pronounced them fitted. The third time was the charm. My headache and pain disappeared, and my glasses fit firmly on my face without moving. Oh joy!
Had I known that Optician #3 was so good, I would have asked for her by name or waited until she was available. And had I known that it is possible to perfectly adjust frames to someone's face, I would not have been so quick to blame myself rather than the experts who served me.
Perhaps opticians should take the approach of a few nurses that I had after surgery and when undergoing cancer treatment. When I was in the hospital after my hysterectomy, one nurse tried to put in an IV line. After two failed attempts, she left to get a more experienced nurse. Nurse #2 got it on the first try. The exact thing happened during one chemotherapy session: the first nurse turned things over to a second nurse after two failed attempts. This appeared to be standard practice rather than an admission of inadequacy on anyone's part. It was better for the nurses and better for me as the patient.
Ultimately, I accept responsibility for not going back to my optometrist's office sooner. Next time, when it isn't right, I'll push—gently—until it is.
Nora Ephron was correct: everything is copy.
