[2021-06-23] Learning French
A friend asked whether I could share my experience with learning French. He explained that he is struggling to build his confidence in French. It had been on my to-do list to write a post on the subject. So in response to my friend and to coincide with tomorrow's Fête nationale du Québec, here are some things that helped me to improve my ability to communicate in my second language, along with tips I picked up over the years.
But first, a little context. I am fortunate to have a Francophone mother. Even though my father was Anglophone and I grew up in an English-speaking community, exposure to French when my mother spoke to her relatives in French or when my Francophone cousins visited helped to cultivate my ear for the language. While this background in French didn't make me anymore likely to speak the language, it did at least mean that I grew up hearing the language. Aside from that natural advantage, my efforts to learn the language could be adopted by anyone.
Find a practice partner
I've always joked that my secret to learning French was to sleep with a Frenchman. When I was learning French, my Francophone husband was a built-in partner with whom to practice. That said, I recognize that you love whom you love, and you can't always choose a Francophone partner, especially if you're already in a committed relationship. But what you can do is find someone who can be your practice partner―such as a coworker, a cousin, an employee, a neighbour―anyone who speaks the target language and who will listen to you and gently correct you as you converse in your second language.
Over the years, I built up a whole group of people with whom the language of our relationship was French. These relationships allowed me to practise my French every day. When I met someone for the first time and I knew they were a Francophone or I detected a French accent, I would often speak in French. That established our relationship as a French one. Future greetings were then always or mainly in French. And we both benefited: My colleague got to speak their own language, and I got to practise my French. This approach helped me go from a level C to a level E in oral interaction, with no additional formal training.
Talk to others in their own language
Nelson Mandela said that "If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart." This quote puts into words something I've known intuitively for years: when you make the effort to speak another person's language, you can connect with them on a level that would not be possible if you were speaking in your first language and their second. I remember the first time I spoke to my husband in French. Of course, he wasn't my husband then; he was merely a friend of a friend. He had no idea I could speak his native tongue, so when he heard me utter a sentence in French, he took notice.
Over and over, I've witnessed a similar phenomenon, with strangers, acquaintances and colleagues. Most people, even those who are fluently bilingual, appreciate that someone else makes the effort to switch languages. When in the workforce, some of my deepest connections were with Francophones with whom I spoke exclusively in French or with whom I engaged in a free-flowing mix of English and French. And anytime I traveled to a region of Canada where French predominated and I made the effort to speak that language, I would see people's eyes light up and smiles spread across their faces as they realized that they would be able to converse with me in their own language.
So if you're struggling to find the motivation to practise your second language when it's just so much easier to continue in your first, think about the possibilities for connecting with your listener on a deeper level.
Seek opportunities that prevent you from switching back to your first language
There was a time in my life when speaking French in front of an audience was terrifying. But 15 years ago, on a business trip to several regional offices in Quebec, I had to speak exclusively in French through four presentations, four Q&A sessions and numerous smaller meetings. I didn’t even have the luxury of switching to English for a few sentences. It was all French, all the time. Scary? Yes. Life-changing? You bet. For the first time in my life, I had to push beyond the fear of looking foolish because I couldn’t express myself freely.
But an interesting thing happened. If I were struggling to find a word, my Francophone colleagues would give it to me. If I apologized for my rusty French, they would thank me, nevertheless, for making the effort. And when I persisted in French, even when they switched to English, they saw that I was serious about respecting their language. After a few French-only meetings, I started getting comfortable speaking my second official language. And with that comfort, I found it easier to slow down and focus on what I wanted to say rather than how perfectly, or not, I was saying it. From that point forward, my shyness to speak French in public plummeted and my confidence soared.
Go beyond wanting to learn the language to needing to use it
One of the Café Jen posts I have shared the most over the years was called "How to learn a language in months." It was based on a blog post by Benny Lewis, who, until the age of 21, knew only one language (English). But then he decided to commit himself to learning languages. According to his website (Fluent in 3 Months), he is now fluent in seven languages, can have conversations in another four, and has dabbled in dozens more. He shared many tips in his blog post that I hadn't heard elsewhere and that I've quoted many times since.
Lewis wrote: "you must invest at least an hour a day, ideally more, which involves focused use of the language." Notice he didn’t say focused study of the language. I think that’s one of the mistakes we Anglophones make. We read the newspaper in French; we do grammar exercises; we listen to Radio Canada. We can spend hours every day doing this, and then wonder why our progress is so slow. Sure, we sometimes have the luxury of full-time language training where the emphasis is on oral interaction, but how many of us continue speaking in French outside class?
"Casual interest can only get you so far―if you just ‘want’ to speak a language, that gives you no edge," Lewis said. "Who wouldn’t want that? To make real progress, that want has to become a need." That’s one of the big differences I noticed between Anglophones and Francophones in the federal Public Service. Anglophones may want to speak French, but can get by without doing so. Francophones, by contrast, really need to speak it. On the one hand, that’s not fair. On the other hand, it’s the Francophones who become fluent.
Stop learning the language, and start speaking it
In his blog post, Lewis stated: "If I had to summarize what definitely separates those who fail in attempts to reach conversational fluency and those who succeed…it is simply the fact that the latter group actually use the language. Not for exams, not for listening to podcasts or reading, but to communicate with human beings." To me, this is the problem with the way we train and test people in the Public Service in their second official language. We train them to pass a test. We show them the tricks. And we tell Anglophones to never use an English expression or Anglicism during the test. Why? Listen to any conversation between two perfectly bilingual people, and you’ll notice them switching back and forth between the two languages, using the best expressions from each. Telling Anglophones that using an English expression during their oral exam is an automatic fail has led many to become almost paranoid about speaking, for fear of saying the wrong thing. That results in stilted speech as the Anglophones search for the "right" word. Most Francophones would no doubt prefer to hear an Anglophone throw in the odd English word but get on with things than to hear them stumble around searching for their words.
Lewis’ advice: "Seriously, stop studying the target language so much! A language can’t be treated like a subject in school such as history or biology; in the real world you cannot ‘fail’ when you make a certain number of mistakes. Other people are very helpful when you are genuinely trying to speak with them." My experience has always been that Francophones are incredibly supportive of Anglophones who genuinely try to use and learn their language.
Don’t wait to finish the course
No matter how much vocabulary we acquire and how well we memorize the grammar rules, noted Lewis, we’ll never really learn to speak a language if we lack confidence. He pointed out that once you start practising, you will improve your speaking skills dramatically. "It won’t be easy," he said, "but once you accept that you simply cannot skip the stage of making mistakes and try to enjoy it, then the mistakes will disappear quicker."
My tour of regional offices in Quebec 15 years ago was a watershed moment for me. Fielding and answering questions, entirely in French, for an hour after each presentation was my baptism by fire, and the point in my career and life when I realized that I could speak French without preparation. From that point on, if I didn’t know how to say something in French, I would try first to think of an equivalent way of saying it in French. If that failed, I would just throw in the English word. Half the time, my Francophone companions would quickly offer the proper French term, which meant that I was learning vocabulary of pertinence to me every time I spoke French.
Find ways to speak a foreign language without traveling
"Successful language learners don’t aim to speak well some day―they use it now," wrote Lewis. "Find natives and other learners to practice with and arrange to meet up with them immediately. It will be hard at first, but you need real pressure if you want to make real progress." Lewis suggested that second language learners find groups in their area to practice their language of choice, through ads in their newspaper or library, or through Meetup.com. In Ottawa, for example, the Club Social Francophone et Francophile is currently meeting via Zoom.
Understand how bilingual speakers switch between their two languages
It took me years to understand that fluently bilingual people switch back and forth between the two languages often without realizing it. I used to think that Francophones were taking pity on me if, after my speaking French for some time and then using one expression in English, they suddenly switched to English. What I came to understand is that my insertion of an English sentence switched on the English light in the bilingual person's brain and that's why they started speaking in English. To counter this, I would simply continue in French and, in no time, my Francophone companion had switched back to French.
Think of learning a language like learning to dance
Cloris Leachman was one of the most memorable celebrities to ever have appeared on Dancing with the Stars―not because she was a good dancer but because she wasn't and yet danced with enthusiasm, humour and sheer abandon anyway. I looked forward to her performance every week. I doubt that Cloris ever learned to speak French. But I'm certain that if she had been asked to learn it, she would have approached it with the same zest as she did dancing, with the same joy and with the same disregard for how she looked.
That's why I think that learning a second language is like learning to dance. Both have rules and conventions. New things are added, be they words or dance styles. And what’s deemed acceptable evolves over time. But the best speakers, like the best dancers, are the ones who passionately communicate their messages, not the ones with perfect delivery.
