[2021-07-09] The climb
For most of his adolescence and young adulthood, Mark Manson fantasized about being a rock star. The question wasn't whether he would be out in front of screaming crowds but when. He had it all planned out. First, he would finish school. Next, he would make extra money to buy gear. Then, he would find enough free time to practice. After that, he would network and plan his first project. Then...
Then nothing. Despite his fantasies, Manson never achieved his dream. When he reflected on why he had failed to become a rock star, Manson realized that he didn't actually want it. He was in love with the result—images of himself on stage, people cheering—but he wasn't in love with the process. In fact, he didn't even try hard enough to fail at it. The daily drudgery of practising, the logistics of assembling a group and rehearsing, the pain of finding gigs and getting people to show up, the frustration of broken strings and blown amps, and the struggle of hauling gear to and from rehearsals were all more than he was prepared to contend with.
Manson discovered that he liked to imagine the summit more than he liked to engage in the climb. He writes in his book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck (a recommendation from my son):
I wanted the reward and not the struggle. I wanted the result and not the process. I was in love with, not the fight, but only the victory. And life doesn't work that way. Who you are is defined by what you're willing to struggle for.
He's not an advocate of the adage "no pain, no gain"—foregoing what we want today to achieve some goal in the future. Instead, he believes that we will arrive at our objectives if we enjoy the climb and are willing to endure the pain associated with reaching the summit.
What determines your success isn't "What do you want to enjoy?" The relevant question is "What pain do you want to sustain?"
Manson says that people who enjoy working out are the ones who run triathlons. People who enjoy long work weeks and office politics are the ones who climb the corporate ladder. People who enjoy the stresses and uncertainties of the starving artist lifestyle are the ones who live it and make it.
Our struggles determine our successes.... The joy is in the climb itself.
As I listened to Manson's book on this morning's walk, I reflected on my Public Service career. It's easy to look back on my various jobs, especially the last one, and ask myself whether I gave too much, perhaps sacrificing my health in the process.
But the reality is that I almost always enjoyed the work. I liked the climb as much as I liked the summit. Sure I had moments where office politics got me down or the volume and pace of work were crushing or I felt unfairly criticized for the one thing that I didn't deliver despite the nine that I did. But I also enjoyed the effort to produce a product I could stand behind, the joy of collaborating with a colleague whom I liked and respected, the delight of seeing the impressive outputs of employees.
Manson's book reminded me today that nothing worthwhile comes easily. Every achievement—be it working in a senior position, raising children, or writing a blog—requires effort and some pain. It's wise to choose goals where we can enjoy the struggle on the climb as much as the triumph at the top.
