[2021-07-23] Retirement
Back in the late 1990s, my boss at the time was looking at a graph plotting the years that his executives would be eligible for retirement. Most of his direct reports could go within five years. There was one exception, represented by a single dot on the extreme right of his chart, more than 20 years into the future. That executive would be eligible to retire only in 2021.
I was that dot on the chart.
And now, the calendar has rolled around to 2021. As I shared a few weeks ago, I turned 55 on July 6. Having started my Public Service career at the tender age of 22, I had the years and the age. While I had previously considered the possibility of retiring at 55, I had long felt that I would make the decision when I reached my magic number, perhaps staying until I was 57 and had accumulated 35 years of service.
And then, almost a year ago to the day, I was unexpectedly diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I wasn't expecting to spend the year leading up to my 55th birthday fighting a disease that could end my life before I even retired.
The sudden shift in my health has changed my outlook on what's important. For the past 12 months, my priorities have been my health, my family and my mission—to raise awareness about ovarian cancer and to be a bright light in the world.
In a post in January, I quoted entrepreneur and investor Naval Ravikant, who said: "Three things in life—your health, your mission, and the people you love. That's it." This is what I've focused on for the past year and where I will now devote my attention in retirement.
Earlier today, I sent an email to all my employees, informing them of my decision to retire from the Public Service. My final job as the Assistant Deputy Minister of the Communications and Public Affairs Branch serving Health Canada and the Public Health Agency of Canada was a highlight of my career. I will cherish many memories of the people I worked with—employees, colleagues, bosses and clients—and the files we collaborated on.
I have worked with an enormous number of amazing people during my career. One silver lining of cancer is that I have reconnected with many colleagues from my past. I use this opportunity to acknowledge all the teams I worked with at Natural Resources Canada during my 28 years in that department: the Communications Branch, the Science-Policy Integration Sector, the Canadian Forest Service, the Shared Services Office, the Energy Sector and the Canada Centre for Mineral and Energy Technology (better known as CANMET). What a ride it has been.
Making the decision to retire and announcing it today feels bittersweet. I should be happy, but I feel sad too. As I said in the email to my staff today, leaving in this way is not at all how I imagined my career would end. It's a rather anticlimactic conclusion to an almost 33-year run.
My feeling today reminds me of what it was like to leave my family whenever I went on a business trip. The leaving was the hard part, not the being away.
And so I imagine that it will get easier as each day goes by. In many ways, retirement is an extension of the role I have embraced as a blogger and ovarian cancer advocate.
My final message is to all the people who supported me throughout my career and to everyone who has walked with me on my cancer journey. Thank you for helping to make me the person I am.
