[2021-08-08] Something kind
Years ago, I sent an email to a colleague complimenting him on the quality of a speech that a member of his team had written. My colleague passed along my message to the author, who sent me this email the following morning:
When you wrote something kind last night…your words gave me a real lift when I needed it. Suffice it to say that I am blessed in many ways but often, self-confidence is not one of them. Struggled with depression as a young man. A residue of anxiety remains…. We all have our challenges and stories. I just want you to know that you helped me and that I appreciate it. Come to think of it, you’ve done it more than once. Reminds me to do the same for others.
I was so moved by his message that I asked him for permission to share his words, without attribution, which he generously granted. I quoted his email in a blog post and recounted the story of our exchange numerous times in speeches I gave in the years that followed.
Rereading his words today, they still sound like poetry to me, with deeper meaning in many of the phrases. This is why they touched me.
Your words gave me a real lift when I needed it.
A simple compliment can mean so much more than we know. We don’t always get to see the impact that our words have on another human being. When we do—as I did through my colleague's email—it is awe-inspiring. For the recipient, a compliment can come at precisely the moment it’s most needed. The older I get, the more confident I have become in sharing positive thoughts that cross my mind. Pass along the praise, I say.
We all have our challenges and stories.
Many of us—myself included—present a brave face to the world, appearing strong when we are crumbling under intense demands, saying we’re fine when we’re exhausted from worry, moving through our day when we feel like curling up and closing out the world. I like to recall the quote: "Be kind; everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." The person who absentmindedly cut you off in traffic may be mourning the loss of a child, may be worried about a loved one, or may be dealing with cancer.
Reminds me to do the same for others.
Kindness begets kindness. And it’s not just a compliment that can make someone’s day. It’s thanking someone who may be routinely overlooked, such as the grocery store clerk who worked throughout the pandemic. It’s saying hello to someone you pass on the street or a walking path. It’s taking an interest in a young person and listening to them talk about a subject they're passionate about. You never know how far your one act of kindness may extend.
As it turns out, the compliment I offered was returned through my colleague’s email response. I didn’t give to get, but his reply made me feel better about myself as well.
Years later, his reply still makes me feel good. It is a story that bears repeating. It reminds me to appreciate everyone who has done something kind for me and to "do the same for others."
