[2021-09-04] Beyond the imperfections

A few years back, I made an important decision about my life and future. The following day, while wandering aimlessly through a store, I came across a sign that read:

Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect. It means you decide to see beyond the imperfections.

Seeing that sign felt like confirmation that I had made the right choice.

I thought of this sign recently when I read the following quote from Yung Pueblo in James Clear's weekly newsletter:

Find a partner who is ready to build with you.

It is not about finding perfection in another person, it is about realizing when you come across an undeniable connection that nourishes your being and matches the type of support you are looking for. Getting lost in the idea of perfection is a hindrance. Being with someone who is committed to going through the ups and downs of life together is truly priceless.

When two people embrace their imperfections and commit to growing into better versions of themselves, it will naturally enhance the happiness they share in the relationship.

It's impossible to find perfection in another person, including a life partner. And yet it's so easy to think that our partners should be perfect.

Instead, perhaps we should ask ourselves: Does this relationship nourish me? Does it give me the kind of support I crave? Is this person committed to sticking with me in good times and in bad? Does this person accept me, imperfections and all? Am I a better version of myself when I'm with this person?

After a year of dealing with cancer, I can say unequivocally that my husband sticks with me in good times and in bad. He took me to every doctor's appointment, every hospital visit, and every chemotherapy treatment. He also supported me through my career, from the very earliest days to my retirement, even when my job demanded almost every waking hour of my day. And he has always accepted me, imperfect as I am.

A happy relationship isn't a perfect relationship. It's one in which we can see the good beyond the imperfections.