[2021-10-17] Real life

We visited my mom this afternoon. After supper, my niece noticed a beautiful sunset unfolding outside the window. She and I slipped outside to capture it. She snapped the photo below.

When I returned home, I stumbled across this thought-provoking quote by Donald Miller from his book To Own a Dragon: Reflections on Growing Up Without a Father:

But playing your music as loud as you want and coming home drunk aren't real life. Real life, it turns out, is diapers and lawnmowers, decks that need painting, a wife that needs to be listened to, kids that need to be taught right from wrong, a checkbook, an oil change, a sunset behind a mountain, laughter at a kitchen table, too much wine, a chipped tooth, and a screaming child.

It led me to reflect on how I would define real life. Of course, real life changes over the course of our lives.

When I was in university, playing loud music and coming home drunk were part of my real life. So were studying and making decisions. Working out and reading. Writing and self-discovery. Going out and waiting by the phone.

When I had children, real life revolved around being a mother and working full time. Breastfeeding and diapers. Going to work early so that I could come home early. Children's books and Disney movies. Family time and mortgage payments.

When I became an assistant deputy minister, real life was work-life integration or, perhaps more precisely, work-life interruption. But it was also learning and loyalty. Growth and challenge. Loss of confidence and restoration of confidence. Late nights and a dearth of time.

When I got cancer, real life was shock and fear. Surgery and chemotherapy. Tests and more tests. But it was also strength and resilience. Love and reconnections. Writing and self-expression. Baking and family time. Beauty and little victories. Kids and an old dog. Marriage and an enduring love.

If I read into Donald Miller's quote, real life is a mix of beauty and responsibility—pausing to take in a breathtaking sunset and rising again the next day to take care of the ones we love.