[2021-10-22] Interviews on grief and cancer coaching
A month ago, I recorded an episode of the podcast Grief, Gratitude, Grace with hosts John Brewer and Sarah Hines. That podcast was published earlier this week.
And two days ago, I was interviewed live by Lucy van Oldenbarneveld as part of the Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation's Cancer Champions Breakfast.
This post shares a few highlights from both interviews.
Grief, gratitude, grace, grit
In John and Sarah's podcast, we explore grief in the context of my cancer diagnosis, treatment and recovery. As John explains in the introduction to the episode, grief is not just about when you lose a loved one. We can face grief whenever we experience loss, including loss of employment, status, financial security, routine, human connection, and—as in my case—health.
I've listened to the episode a few times. My favourite part comes at the very end. John asks me about grit, which he describes as inner strength to move forward when circumstances get difficult.
"It's not necessarily helpful to describe cancer as a battle. And I'm not the kind of person who talks about being a warrior," I respond. I recall that early in my treatment, I read about a cancer survivor who said, "I didn't survive cancer because I fought harder than somebody else.... I know people who fought much harder than I did and didn't make it. I just happen to have science on my side."
I also note that, early in my journey, I saw cancer as a schoolyard bully. But, over time, I stopped thinking of cancer as some malevolent force in my life. I saw my cancer as biology: "It's just something that happened." Perhaps inner strength is reflected in my belief that "we can choose how we respond to anything that happens to us in our lives." I comment that I have been blessed with many positive qualities: "for the most part, good physical health, great mental health, resilience, and the ability to write, which allows me to stay connected to people."
I do point out that having strength doesn't necessarily make those of us with cancer any more or less likely to survive the disease. However, "it sure makes our quality of life, day to day, way better when we have that strength and resilience...hope and focusing on the good things that we have in our life."
I conclude by saying: "I am here today. I'm alive today. I can make a contribution today."
Cancer coaching
And I continue to strive to make a contribution every day. As I shared in my recent post Cancer Champions Breakfast, I was interviewed by former CBC anchor Lucy van Oldenbarneveld for the Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation's annual breakfast. My 6-minute interview begins at 45 minutes into the show (jump to 45:00).
My favourite part comes at 48:06 when Lucy asks me when I was introduced to cancer coaching. I explain that I became aware of the Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation in November 2020 in the course of writing a blog post, but reached out to the organization only the following April, at the encouragement of a friend who had had breast cancer and found a coach through the Foundation. I note that I had felt physically and mentally strong throughout my treatment and surrounded by support, so I wasn't sure that I needed a cancer coach. However, I also felt that there was no harm in getting a coach and perhaps I didn't know what I was missing.
"I had a little bit of trepidation going in...as I was registering, because I knew that I would be talking about my cancer. And even though I talk every day in my blog, I thought, 'Oh, am I going to break down? Am I going to cry on the phone with the coach?' But it wasn't like that at all. It was a very nurturing, welcoming conversation. I felt comfortable from the very first conversation." I recount that one of the things my coach said in our first session is that "coaching is sometimes just giving people an opportunity to hear the sound of their own voice." Coaching is not about coming with a cookie-cutter approach. "It's about understanding what my priorities and needs were and talking to me about those."
I was honoured to have been asked to participate in these two interviews. Every time I share my story, I am making a contribution—helping to increase people's knowledge of ovarian cancer, and perhaps inspiring others who may be going through a similar challenge.
