[2021-11-13] Us and them

One of the tasks I need to complete before my official retirement on November 24 is to close a few internal-to-government groups I started on the Government's internal social media platform GCconnex. Today's focus was my blog Café Jen. I wanted to make sure that I had an electronic copy of all the blog posts on the site before retiring the group's files.

While I did have electronic copies of the majority of the blog posts, I discovered a dozen or so files that I didn't have in my collection. One of them was an article about a three-minute video from Denmark called All That We Share. Published in 2017, the video applies equally well today. It opens with footage of groups of people entering a sound stage and standing in fairly homogeneous collectives in squares marked on the floor. The narration begins:

It's easy to put people in boxes.
There's us. And there's them.
The high earners. And those just getting by.
Those we trust. And those we try to avoid.
There's the new Danes. And those who've always been here.
The people from the countryside. And those who've never seen a cow.
The religious. And the self-confident.
There are those we share something with. And those we don't share anything with.

The shot cuts to a man with a clipboard, who welcomes the participants, many of whom look both curious and confused. The host announces: "I'm going to ask you some questions today."

As he poses each question—beginning with "Who in this room was the class clown?"—people from the various boxes step forward, forming new groupings. As the questions continue, participants appear increasingly comfortable seeing beyond their differences to find similarities.
  • Some believe in life after death. Others have seen UFOs.
  • Some have been bullied. Others have bullied.
  • Some have had sex in the past week. Others are brokenhearted.
  • Some are madly in love. Others feel lonely.
  • Some have saved lives. Others have found the meaning of life.
My favourite moment is the point at which a single person steps forward in response to a question about bisexuality, and is applauded—as the narrator says—by those who acknowledge the courage of others.

The video closes on a group shot of all participants, no longer in their separate boxes, but together representing all who love Denmark. The video concludes with these words: "Maybe there's more that brings us together than we think."

Reading about the video is not as powerful as watching it, so I hope that a scan of my post will convince you to click on the link.

In my 2017 blog post, I wrote: "At a time in the world's history when feelings of us and them seem to dominate, I am heartened by the message of the video, which focuses on what unites us rather than what sets us apart." I could be writing those exact words in 2021.

Us-and-them attitudes aren't just problems between and within countries. In 2017, I wrote about problems that manifest in some of our workplaces. I had seen us-and-them approaches in teams where managers were in one group and employees in another. I had experienced workplaces with an "in crowd" (what one colleague called "the cool kids") and a crowd that was out of the limelight. And I had watched as some employees were acknowledged and applauded while others were seemingly taken for granted. In 2021, I see (and have personally succumbed to) us-and-them thinking on issues such as vaccines, climate change and racism.

I have long felt that empathy—walking a mile in someone else's shoes—is an antidote to us-and-them thinking. My advice to Café Jen readers in 2017 was this: "If you find yourself in a team where employees are entrenched in separate camps, take the first step toward breaking down the divisions. Be an 'us' who asks a 'them' out for coffee, who offers help, who passes on a useful resource. Have the courage to share something about yourself that might become the basis for common ground with someone from the other team." My advice to Jenesis readers in 2021 would be similar: "If you find yourself talking with someone whose views differ from yours, ask their perspective and listen to their answer—not with the objective of countering, dismissing or criticizing their argument but with the intent of understanding where they're coming from. I will make the same effort."

We may find, as the Danish video suggests, that there's more that brings us together with others than we think.