[2022-01-21] Pyjama days
I was talking to my son late this afternoon, after he had signed off from work for the weekend. Like me, he has been under the weather most of the week (COVID test was negative).
He felt guilty for having to take a couple of days off work (oh how I remember that feeling) and now he's just tired of being sick (something I used to hate as well).
When you're healthy, getting a cold or the flu can feel like such an inconvenience.
My attitude changed when I went through chemotherapy. Just before starting my treatment, I had a conversation with a nurse (an angel, really) who spoke to me about her mother's experience with chemotherapy. Like me, her mother had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer and had gone through six rounds of chemotherapy. She said that her mother felt fine on treatment days and then had pyjama days for the next three before resuming her normal activities.
Throughout my chemotherapy and after every illness since then, I've viewed my sick days as pyjama days. I try to focus on what I can do, such as watching a miniseries or every episode of a baking show, rather than what I can't.
As I've talked about my pyjama days in this blog, many people have written to me to say, "Oh, I could use a pyjama day right about now."
So I suggested to my son that he think about what he would do if he could spend the day relaxing in bed? Maybe watch The Lord of the Rings trilogy, view a bunch of documentaries, read a book, play a game, or videoconference with a friend. The key thing is to shift his thinking from what being sick prevents him from doing to what being sick affords him the opportunity to do.
I recognize that that's easier when you're retired and/or have no children or pets depending on you, so this suggestion won't work for everyone.
But if you can enjoy a pyjama day or two, it can help to reframe illness as a chance to slow down and do something quiet and cozy rather than as a great imposition.
