[2022-01-25] Self-care truths
Today, a friend shared with me a list of The Hard Truths About Self-Care:
- You will disappoint some people when you prioritize your self-care.
- Self-care often means doing what you don't feel like doing in the present moment to benefit future you (it's not all bubble baths and face masks).
- Your boundaries will scare some people away. It's okay. Let them go.
- Don't neglect yourself taking care of someone else. You don't owe anyone your time, a quick text back, or emotional support when you need to be giving it to yourself first.
- Neglecting yourself to take care of somebody else may seem like an act of love, but giving from a place of emptiness only leads to resentment. Towards the other person, and eventually towards yourself.
- Self-care requires letting go of relationships, habits, and choices that are familiar but no longer serve you.
- It means being honest with yourself, especially when the truth is hard to admit.
- Self-care is hardest to do when you need it most.
My favourite truth is #5, especially "giving from a place of emptiness only leads to resentment." From time to time, I have suggested to loved ones and have had to remind myself: "If giving makes you feel good, keep giving. But if giving makes you feel resentful, stop giving." That resentment may come from exhaustion or from a lack of recognition, or both. Regardless, resentment is often a red flag that you need to take a break, either to restore your energy or to get some distance from an emotionally draining relationship.
I also like truth #1. Others may not respect your need for self-care, particularly those who have more energy than you do, who do not understand what you are going through, or who want you to continue giving to them. You do not owe such people a justification for your self-care. Only you know what you need to do to care for your mental and physical health.
