[2022-02-24] The Book of Jen

In response to my story about a human library, a Jenesis reader asked for any documents that we had created for the event. Today, I took a few moments to look through some old electronic files and came across the documents we had produced, including sample questions for readers to ask human books.

As a reminder, a human library is an event in which people who are willing to share their story (the books) meet one-on-one with people who want to know more about their experience (the readers of the books).

For our human library, we provided a list of questions to help readers get the conversation going:
  • Could you tell me about yourself?
  • What experience has had the most impact on making you the person you are today?
  • What is a typical day like for you?
  • Why did you want to be a human book?
  • Do you wish you could go back in time to change a decision you had made? Any regrets?
  • What’s a good thing happening in your life right now? What makes it good?
  • What were some of the more difficult aspects of your life? What made it difficult?
  • How do you deal with adversity?
  • Is there a community or a support system that you’re a part of?
  • Do you have any advice for someone going through a situation similar to yours?
I was intrigued by those questions and wondered how I might answer them if I were a human book. But before considering them, I pondered what my blurb would be, in other words, the summary of my book that would be used to entice readers. My blurb might look like this:

"I have good news and bad news," the doctor said. "The good news is that you don't have gallstones. The bad news is that you have ovarian cancer." Those few words would significantly change the trajectory of Jennifer Hollington's life. One day, she was at the apex of her career, working as the Assistant Deputy Minister of Communications for Health Canada and the Public Health Agency of Canada in the middle of a pandemic. The next day, she was thrust into the role of cancer patient. One month later, she underwent surgery to remove cancerous tumours from her abdomen, along with her ovaries, fallopian tubes, uterus, cervix and omentum. Two months later, she began the first of six rounds of chemotherapy. Seven months later, she learned that she had a variant in her BRCA2 (breast cancer 2) gene, which means that she is at an increased risk of developing breast and other cancers. And a year later, she learned that she had a second cancer—perianal skin cancer—which required another surgery and 25 rounds of radiation. Through it all, she has blogged about her experiences with cancer and shared her views on life. Every day, she finds joy, love and something to appreciate.

Assuming that someone would be sufficiently intrigued by my blurb to want to check me out of the human library for a closer look, how might I answer the sample questions?

Could you tell me about yourself?
I'm 55, married, with two adult children and a 15-year-old goldendoodle. I recently retired after a 33-year career in Canada's public service. I publish daily to my blog, Jenesis, exploring what it means to live with cancer, and sharing a positive story about the happiness one can find in the midst of being treated for this disease.

What experience has had the most impact on making you the person you are today?
You might think that I would say that getting cancer has had the most impact on me, but my answer to this question would be meeting an older colleague when I worked as a summer student in my late teens. This wise and caring individual introduced me to books as therapy and helped me use my writing as a means of self-reflection. That self-reflection was critical to shaping who I am today.

What is a typical day like for you?
I get up at about 7:15 AM so that I can have breakfast with my daughter. (My husband is one of those early-to-bed-early-to-rise kind of guys, so I'm rarely up when he awakes.) After breakfast, I clean up the kitchen, then shower, dry my hair and get dressed for the day. When I'm not recovering from a medical procedure or treatment, I'll go for a morning walk, listening to music or an audiobook if I'm alone, or chatting with a family member or friend in person or on the phone. Walking is magical, as is being in nature. If I'm in recovery mode, I'll watch something on my phone, often a baking show. If not, I'll spend the rest of my day on leisurely pursuits: running errands, baking, tidying up, responding to messages from Jenesis readers, writing, chatting with my mom, or working on a project. My husband and I take turns making supper and make a point to watch Jeopardy together in the evening. I spend most evenings writing my post, designing the visual, publishing it online and promoting it via social media. My routine may change in the future, post-pandemic and post-treatment, but for now I lead a pretty quiet life, and that's OK.

Why did you want to be a human book?
I started my blog as a means of keeping family members, friends and colleagues apprised of developments in my treatment. I continued to blog to help increase awareness of ovarian cancer and, later, perianal skin cancer. As I learned of my blog's positive impact on more and more readers, I was inspired to keep writing. Sharing my story has allowed me to derive meaning out of cancer and to connect with many people.

Do you wish you could go back in time to change a decision you had made? Any regrets?
I wish that I had gone back to my doctor about the itchy patch of skin on my bum sooner than I did. Perhaps I wouldn't have developed a second cancer, but who knows. The moral of the story is to be proactive in following up on health issues.

What’s a good thing happening in your life right now? What makes it good?
Feeling that I am getting better after treatment for a second cancer is a good thing. Receiving confirmation each month that my CA125 level (a measure of a cancer marker associated with ovarian cancer) is low and steady is sensational. Seeing positive signs that the pandemic is waning is encouraging, as it will permit me to spend more time with my extended family and others.

What were some of the more difficult aspects of your life? What made it difficult?
Losing my brother a few years ago was one of the most difficult things I've experienced in my life. Telling my family that I had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer was heartbreaking. Recovering from various treatments for cancer has been challenging. Watching my loved ones go through pain—physical or emotional—has always been hard. Resolving conflicts between individuals in the workplace was draining.

How do you deal with adversity?
I look for the silver lining in every situation. I focus on what I can control. I avoid worrying about the future.

Is there a community or a support system that you’re a part of?
My blog has enabled me to resume, maintain and build relationships with so many people who are cheering me on. Along with my family, these individuals are an incredible support system.

Do you have any advice for someone going through a situation similar to yours?
Find the joy in every circumstance—the compassion of a nurse, the professionalism of a doctor, the good news in a medical report, the encouragement of friends and family, the ringing of a bell to signal the end of treatment. Focus on the gift that is today, not the possibilities that might occur in the future. Appreciate all that is good and right in your life. Surround yourself with positive people. Laugh and keep a sense of humour. Accept the help that others offer—your grace is how you return their kindness. Remember that the sooner you get started, the sooner you'll be done. Thank and compliment others. Be the head of your medical team. Do everything you can to preserve your health, and maintain hope. Find a way to help others, as that will give you a purpose greater than yourself. Recognize how far you've come. Be proud of yourself. Never doubt that you can do hard things.