[2022-03-04] Relationships
In his most recent blog post, 80-Year Study Finds the Secret To Happiness, author Chester Elton shared the surprising conclusion of a study that has followed 268 people since 1938: the secret to a long and happy life, it would seem, is deep and meaningful relationships.
According to the study's director, Dr. Robert Waldinger, our relationships and how happy we are in them have a powerful influence on our health. The psychiatrist adds that while taking care of our bodies is important, tending to our relationships is also a form of self-care.
Elton points out:
We often set goals to lose weight, eat better, get more exercise and so on. We get on the scale every day and record what we eat to make sure we are on track. But do we set goals to tend to our friends and loved ones? Do we remind ourselves to measure how kind we are to those who mean the most to us, to make sure our relationships are happy and healthy?
His questions are valid, particularly given the impact of the pandemic on our ability to maintain relationships. For instance, I used to see my brothers at least one a month before the pandemic, when I visited my mom. But in the last two years, I've seen them face to face maybe half a dozen times. That's partly because of cancer, but mostly because of COVID.
I thought of my brothers today when a song called "Brother" came up on my playlist. The song, by the group NEEDTOBREATHE, includes this chorus:
Brother, let me be your shelter
Never leave you all alone
I can be the one you call
When you're low
Brother, let me be your fortress
When the night winds are driving on
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home
It made me think of my late brother, Greg, and rekindled the regret that I hadn't reached out to him more often.
But then I thought about my other brothers. So I sent each of them a text, just to let them know I was thinking of them and that I hoped they were having a good day. It was a simple gesture that I believe communicated their importance to me.
Last night's message was to take care of your body. Today's is to take care of your relationships. It would seem that the latter is as important as the former.
