[2022-03-13] Empathic listening
When someone is sick and our interaction with them is mostly virtual, it can be difficult to know how they're really doing. We might wonder whether they've lost weight. We might worry that they are sadder than they let on. We might question how much they are in pain.
But when we can meet them in person, our fears are often allayed. We see that they look good. We find that they move about with little effort or pain. We hear the positive tone in their voice.
With face-to-face visits, we can engage in what Stephen Covey calls empathic listening:
In empathic listening, you listen with your ears, but you also, and more importantly, listen with your eyes and with your heart. You listen for feeling, for meaning. You listen for behavior. You use your right brain as well as your left. You sense, you intuit, you feel.
I've often thought that my immediate family members have an advantage over my extended family and all others who care about me. My husband and kids get to see me daily (albeit less so for my son since he moved to his own place). They can observe firsthand how I have responded to cancer treatment, both physically and mentally. They can take in my positivity, optimism and energy. They can be reassured that what I project in my blog is a faithful representation of who I am in person.
There's no better way to listen with empathy than when we can see, hear and hug someone in person.
