[2022-03-31] Happy, fun, grateful life
In response to the statement "You can't live a happy fun grateful life when you're diagnosed with incurable cancer," Nicky Newman says "Why not?" She shares her remarkable story of living with incurable stage 4 breast cancer with her legions of Instagram followers as @nicknacklou.
In today's post, she writes that she believes in letting out the negative to make way for the positive, such as focusing on the lighter side of life and finding the silver linings. "If I didn’t[,] this illness would consume me," she admits, adding, "I won’t let that happen."
She attributes her positive attitude to her diagnosis, which made her prioritize her happiness and see the world through a different lens.
One of Nicky's followers responded: "If you told me a couple of years ago that the most joyous, positive and inspiring account I follow would be someone living with incurable cancer, I would never have believed it……yet here we are."
I had a similar experience today when a friend shared with me a comment she had received from someone to whom she had sent my posts. Out of the blue, her friend wrote to her to say: "I’m really enjoying (not the right word, but I can’t come up with a better one) your friend’s blog. She’s an amazing human and I’m so glad you have each other in your lives. One of my favourite principles of permaculture is looking for the opportunities in the challenges. She does that beautifully."
What both comments illustrate is that stories are inspirational not because they deal with a positive topic, but because they deal with a challenging topic in a positive way. I would never have thought that I could be happy, that I could have fun and that I could be grateful while dealing with cancer—two cancers, in fact. Yet here we are.
There have been many silver linings in my cancer. One is that my diagnosis and treatment spurred me to retire, which allows me to devote time to my family, to focus on my health, and to write every day. Had I still been working, there's no way that I could have said to my daughter at 11:40 AM, "how about I whip up some stove-top macaroni and cheese with leftover broiled salmon and steamed broccoli?" and have that meal on the table by 12:15 PM. And it's highly unlikely that I would have been available mid-afternoon to take my daughter to a doctor's appointment, followed by a walk in the neighbourhood around the clinic, or that I would have made time to chat on the phone with my mom, or to watch Jeopardy with my husband, or to do a video-chat with my son. And I might have struggled to make time for the dental cleaning and blood work I had today. And I'm certain that I would never have managed to write a blog post, to say nothing of more than 600 posts.
Having time for my family makes me happy and grateful. Receiving feedback that my posts are helping people cope with challenges quite apart from cancer is incredible. Getting positive health results, such as a normal mammogram and breast MRI, fills me with joy.
And learning, as I did today, that my CA125 remains at 8—well within the normal range for the 16th month in a row—makes me elated. Seeing that number remain low and steady delights me, and it never gets old.
