[2022-04-03] Rich
Today, a friend sent me an article about a woman who had grown up poor and had made up her mind to do everything she could to avoid the struggles her parents had faced, even if it meant living beyond her means and borrowing to finance her lifestyle. However, after her parents passed away, she realized that it didn't matter that they were poor, as they were worth more than their possessions. She subsequently decided to live a simpler, debt-free life.
I related to portions of the woman's story, especially the part about learning to live within her means.
While I grew up in a family of limited income, I don't recall feeling "poor." We always had food on our table, even if it meant working hard to plant, tend, harvest and preserve foods from our gardens, fields and orchards. We had clothes to wear, even if some of those clothes were hand-me-downs from siblings, cousins and neighbours, or sewed by my mom. We acquired the habit of using everything until it was completely consumed or worn out. We had games to play, even if we invented them, and our farm was often the gathering place for the neighbourhood's kids. We didn't feel the need to keep up with the Joneses since most of the people we knew were also farm families of meagre means. We learned to work hard and had multiple ways to make money, even at a young age. In the spring, we worked at McEwen's Sugar Shack (now Temple's) in Ferguson Falls, starting at age 12 or so. In the summer, we sold sweet corn and other produce from the farm, or held outside jobs. We were encouraged to save money and had bank accounts from an early age.
As an adult, I continued the habit of living at or even below my means. Chris and I purchased our first house 30 years ago, where we remain to this day. We have only one vehicle. We cook the vast majority of our meals from scratch. We are homebodies.
Over the years, we maintained our same frugal habits even as our family's income rose. This meant that we could support our children through university and law school, facilitated by the fact that they studied in Ottawa and hence could remain at home. Both kids graduated with no student debt.
Perhaps it's my upbringing or the fact that I've faced a life-threatening illness or simply a function of my getting older and wiser, but I don't fuss too much about what we possess. I am at peace knowing that my family will not have to worry about money, in part because the hard work I did throughout my career positioned us well for the future and in part because we are all accustomed to living within our means.
My choices wouldn't suit everyone, but—for the most part—they work for me. This is what I would say to my children:
- Work hard and try to find a job you enjoy doing, or a job that allows you to maintain inner peace.
- Living within your means will also help you in the pursuit of equilibrium.
- Money can enable a rich life, but having a lot of money is not the only way to be rich. You can be rich in time, friends, interests and love, and you can place an equal or greater value on any of these factors when examining the richness of your life.
- Don't trade all your time to make money; spend time with loved ones while you can (the hardest lesson I had to learn).
- Moments with loved ones are more memorable than things, and will stay with you far longer.
- Spending valuable moments with the ones you love, and sharing your good fortune with them, will also leave a lasting impact.
- Your legacy is not the things you leave behind, but the sum total of your value of yourself, along with the love others carry in their hearts because of you.
