[2022-04-13] The best things
Author Nicole Reed said: "Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us."
For me, cancer is that bad thing. But out of it has come many good things:
- marriage to the man with whom I've spent more than 30 years building a life and raising a family;
- medical leave and retirement—20 months in total, to date—which have allowed me to spend time with, and be in service of, my husband and children;
- closer relationships with extended family members and others, creating precious moments that may have never existed had I continued to believe that "there is always time"; and
- this blog, which has helped me to cope with cancer and grow as a person while supporting many readers in facing their own challenges.
That's not to say that I welcome bad things. I'd prefer to avoid all bad things, especially cancer. But I can't deny cancer's impact on my life. While I've experienced downsides in facing this disease, I've benefited from many upsides too. I suppose that makes me a glass-half-full kind of girl.
Someone asked me recently whether I've always had a positive outlook. I don't know that I did when I was really young, but I've largely been an optimistic and grateful person since becoming an adult. These qualities have had a profound effect on how I've looked at cancer.
Today, when some part of my body hurts, I tell myself, "It could hurt more" or "At least this other part of my body doesn't hurt anymore and allows me to do what I want to do." When a worry about cancer recurrence flits across my mind, I remind myself that I'm here today and today is all that matters. When I think about my loved ones, I appreciate how a life-threatening illness has given me the courage to say and write things I might not have otherwise shared.
Had I found myself on my deathbed 20 months ago—while working 18-hour days, 7 days a week—I would have been filled with regret. I would have rued the missed opportunity to marry my sweetheart, the lost time with family, relationships neglected, and things left unsaid. Instead, when I asked myself today what deathbed regrets I might have, I couldn't think of any.
For me, cancer has been a catalyst for positive action. I truly believe that I am on a path to the best things, with more to come.
