[2022-05-25] Going beyond "how was your day?"
A few days ago, a friend passed along 50 questions to ask your kids instead of "How was your day?" It's a clever list, one that would no doubt elicit a more complete response from a grade schooler than the non-specific "How was your day?"
Here are 5 of the 50 questions:
- Who did you sit with at lunch?
- What is something that challenged you today?
- What made you smile today?
- Can you tell me an example of a kindness you saw happen today?
- Of all the things that happened in your day, what was the best thing that happened today?
If I were asked these questions today, here's what I would answer.
Today, my husband and I had lunch with his sister and the wife of his late brother. I didn't realize it at the time, but it had been more than two years since I had last seen my sisters-in-law—before the pandemic, before cancer, before my marriage to Chris, before my retirement. It was pleasing and natural to catch up with two women I've known for more than half my life.
One of my challenges today was speaking French. I haven't used my second language much since leaving my job almost two years ago. I thought it would be more difficult to speak French than it was. Though I was rusty and made mistakes, I was able to get my ideas across. And isn't that the point of communication?
Today, I smiled when my younger brother texted to say that he had binge-eaten the oatmeal chocolate chip cookies I had made for him yesterday. "Mmmm," he wrote.
This evening, a friend dropped off plants for my garden: three tomatoes and three peppers. She told me that her husband grows all sorts of garden plants; the specimens she gave me were absolutely beautiful. I can't wait to add them to my garden tomorrow. The kindness of my friend and her husband illustrates something I think of often: what is ordinary for us—such as growing plants or baking cookies—could be extraordinary for someone else. When we share the fruits of our talent, recipients who don't possess those talents are especially appreciative.
The best thing that happened today was being able to tell my sisters-in-law at lunch as well as one of my aunts during a phone call this evening that I am doing well. When loved ones who haven't seen or spoken to me since before my cancer diagnosis ask "How are you doing?" the question is full of meaning. It's not simply a pro forma query about my life in general. It's a very specific question along the lines of "Are you OK?" When I can reassure people that I am truly OK, it's a good day.
