[2022-05-27] Is your hair like mine?
This morning, former US President Barack Obama published an Instagram post about an exchange he had had with a young boy 13 years ago. Obama recounts the story:
In 2009, Carlton Philadelphia, a National Security Council staffer, brought his wife and two sons to the Oval Office for a departure photo. Carlton’s older son, Isaac, asked me a few serious questions, but a more surprising one came from his younger brother, five-year-old Jacob.
"Is your hair like mine?" he asked.
It wasn’t the kind of question I usually get.
So, I bent down and told him, "Well you want to check and see? Go ahead, touch it."
And then I asked him, "Well, what do you think?"
He replied, "Yeah, I think that’s pretty much what I’ve got. "
White House photographer @PeteSouza captured that moment and for years, the photo hung in the halls of the West Wing. It was a reminder of one of the reasons I first ran for president: that if I were to win, young people—Black kids, Hispanic kids, kids who may not have always felt like they belonged—might see more possibilities for their own future.
What struck me about Obama's story was the way he chose to respond to the young visitor. He didn't dismiss the boy's question or suggest that he ask something along the lines of his older brother, who had wondered about weapons systems and the budget process. No, Obama recognized in the question an honest desire to know the answer to the question "Are you like me?"
There is great comfort in knowing people who are like us. People who look like us. People who are the same size as we are. People from the same socioeconomic background. People with the same education. People who work in the same field. People who have the same abilities or limitations as we do. People who have a brain that works like ours. People who have the same gender expression. People who have the same sexual orientation. People who come from the same part of the world or country. People who speak the same language. People who have experienced the same disease.
And when we see others who have faced the same challenges we face succeeding and thriving in life, it gives us hope that we, too, can succeed and thrive.
I read Obama's post just after my own exchange with a Jenesis reader who had commented on last night's blog entry, saying: "Thank you for being so very positive about everything Jen." I had replied: "We can normalize a lot of subjects simply by talking about them in a positive and respectful way."
Obama did that in answering Jacob's question. And his presidency no doubt did make it possible for young people who look like him to imagine all sorts of possibilities for their future.
When we share our stories—in whatever private or public way we choose—and when we take pride in our accomplishments and who we are, we are serving as an example for others of what's possible. While our differences may be challenging, they can also be superpowers we use for the benefit of others. Our story, our achievements, our very existence can light the way for the next person who, in big or small ways, is just like us.
