[2022-06-14] Life is in motion
Chanel Miller was sexually assaulted on a university campus when she was 22. During the trial of the man who assaulted her, Miller was known only as Emily Doe. The day after her assailant was sentenced, several media outlets published Miller's victim impact statement, which she had read in court. It was viewed 11,000,000 times in just four days.
Three years later, Miller released Know My Name: A Memoir, revealing that she was the "Emily Doe" and owning her story.
While writing her memoir, Miller took a narrative illustration class. Every evening, she would take what had happened in her day—something as mundane as the fact that her dog had peed on her floor—and translate it into daily drawings.
Appearing on the May 2, 2022 episode of Glennon Doyle's podcast, We Can Do Hard Things, Miller said of the comic-making class:
That's when I started noticing things that were happening in my present life outside of the story that I was telling at my desk. That's what taught me to pay attention to the fact that life was still moving forward.
She added:
When you're in your past, you feel like you are stuck. You have to look at the small changes. And even, like, it's helpful to go on a walk. If you walk the same loop of your neighbourhood every day, I would challenge you to look for the certain factors that are different each time you walk. You have to know that life is in motion and that it's impossible to get stuck even if you feel that you are.
One could understand if Miller had gotten stuck, particularly as she relived the trauma of her assault while writing her memoir. But she didn't. Instead, she used art to force her to pay attention to the small changes in her life that showed she was making progress.
I was doing housework today while listening to We Can Do Hard Things but stopped in my tracks when Miller stated that life is in motion and it's impossible to get stuck even if you feel that you are. I immediately backed up the recording to hear those words again. (If you want to hear this part of the interview and the context for the statement, start listening at 5:00 when Doyle asks Miller to talk about her therapist's suggestion to go to art class.)
Miller's observation made me think of women I know who were sexually assaulted, friends who are having a tough time, and my own journey with cancer. It also reminded me of some of my favourite quotes from Charlie Mackesy's The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse:
When the big things feel out of control...focus on what you love right under your nose.
When the dark clouds come ... keep going.
Sometimes just getting up and carrying on is brave and magnificent.
We all have had moments when we needed to get up and carry on. Doing so is brave and magnificent, not only for us but for everyone else who bears witness to our struggle and takes inspiration from us to keep moving forward in their own lives.
