[2022-09-15] Gaining perspective
I had lunch with a friend today. I love seeing her because she helps me feel validated (we have similar views on many subjects) and she inspires me to do things I might not otherwise do, such as reflect on my priorities.
We talked about what each of us has been up to since our last lunch. As we chatted, we gained perspective on our successes and challenges. In fact, the concept of "perspective" kept coming up as we conversed and as I recalled our conversation later in the day. For example, I mentioned to my friend that as difficult as it was to be in charge of health communications during a pandemic, I'm not sorry that I went through the experience: it gave me an appreciation for people who have demanding jobs and made me more empathic towards people in difficult circumstances. I also talked about how having cancer changed my perspective on what I want to spend my time doing: I'd rather be close to home than pursuing a new challenge in a second career that would inevitably take me away from family and the peaceful life I am trying to cultivate.
Our conversation got me thinking about all the ways we gain perspective. I made this list:
- Experience - going through something ourselves, such as a serious illness or a tough job assignment, that changes how we look at life
- Major life events - getting married, having children, losing a loved one, taking extended leave from work, becoming an empty-nester
- Children - observing how children look at life and recognizing in them behaviours we exhibited in our youth
- Elders - listening to their stories but also hearing their regrets and mistakes
- Education - being exposed to many different views—experts, teachers, classmates—and learning how to think for ourselves
- Traveling - seeing the values of different people and different cultures
- Media - reading stories about how other people live and what they believe, and observing the varied viewpoints of different media organizations
- Social media - consuming content generated by individuals—such as social media posts, blogs, podcasts—and applying those ideas in our own lives
- Family and friends - witnessing the choices of the people closest to us and reflecting on our own choices
- Reflection - having the courage to examine what's working in our lives, what isn't and why, through such means as therapy, journaling, meditation
- Entertainment - watching movies and documentaries, reading books and biographies, attending theatre and live performances
- Strangers - talking to a human book in a human library, chatting with someone at the bus stop, connecting with a stranger through social media
- Collaborators - getting to know a work colleague, asking a fellow volunteer about their life, talking with a neighbour over the garden fence
- Walks - getting out into nature and letting our minds roam
- Writing - (indeed, any form of creativity) expressing our thoughts and feelings and thereby accessing ideas that might not otherwise come to the surface
- Sleep - taking a break from a problem and looking at it in a new light on a different day
Some of the items on this list require means, such as time to read or money to pursue post-secondary studies. Others, such as walking and writing, are more readily available to all of us.
The key factor in gaining perspective is keeping an open mind and acknowledging that maybe we haven't figured everything out. It also helps to connect with wise people, especially those who are good at challenging cultural norms.
As I write this, I recall this cheeky quote from Salvador Dali: "Every morning upon awakening, I experience a supreme pleasure: that of being Salvador Dali, and I ask myself, wonderstruck, what prodigious thing will he do today, this Salvador Dali." Today, I might adapt Dali's statement for my own purposes: "Every morning upon awakening, I experience a supreme pleasure: that of having the opportunity to validate an existing perspective or to substitute a new and better one."
