[2022-11-14] Alone time
A few days ago, a friend shared a Twitter thread about how we spend our time, compiled by investor Sahil Bloom. The data are from the American Time Use Survey and Our World in Data, but the results are likely transferable to Canada.
They show that, as we age, we spend less time with family, friends, children, coworkers and partners, and more time alone. While we do spend time alone in our youth (about 3½ hours per day at age 15), we spend more than twice that amount of time alone in old age (about 8 hours per day at age 85).
Bloom draws six conclusions from the data:
- Family time is limited—cherish it.
- Friend time is limited—prioritize real ones.
- Partner time is significant—never settle.
- Children time is precious—be present.
- Coworker time is significant—find energy.
- Alone time is highest—love yourself.
Of his six summary statements, the one that struck me the most was the last one. Bloom advises that we embrace solitude and find happiness and joy in time spent alone, as we will experience a lot of that as we get older.
I've always felt that loving oneself is the foundation of happiness. When we love ourselves, we are more likely to be secure in our worth, sure of our choices, focused on what we have as opposed to what we don't have, happy for others, and hopeful for the future. When we don't love ourselves, we are more likely to experience jealousy (fear of loss), envy (fear of inadequacy), competition (fear of not measuring up), overwork (fear of being found out) and criticism (fear of being wrong).
Since retirement, I have spent a lot more time alone than I did when working at a job. In my last position, I was almost never alone—either in meetings or working with advisors in my office who needed to obtain a slew of approvals from me. Now, I spend large chunks of time alone, as I clean, cook, write, learn and declutter. I enjoy these solitary pursuits, as much as I enjoy being with people, perhaps because most of my alone time is in service of others.
With that in mind, I might add this to Bloom's advice to love spending time alone: embrace your solitude as an opportunity to serve yourself, your loved ones and your community.
