[2022-11-20] Becoming the ocean
Today, a friend sent me a beautiful poem by Khalil Gibran:
Fear
It is said that before entering the sea
a river trembles with fear.
She looks back at the path she has traveled,
from the peaks of the mountains,
the long winding road crossing forests and villages.
And in front of her,
she sees an ocean so vast,
that to enter
there seems nothing more than to disappear forever.
But there is no other way.
The river can not go back.
Nobody can go back.
To go back is impossible in existence.
The river needs to take the risk
of entering the ocean
because only then will fear disappear,
because that's where the river will know
it's not about disappearing into the ocean,
but of becoming the ocean.
The poem reminded me of the days and weeks following my unexpected diagnosis with ovarian cancer. I didn't want to be a cancer patient. I was fearful of the impacts of cancer treatment. I was afraid that I might disappear, not simply into the ocean, but from this world entirely.
But, as Khalil Gibran says, "Nobody can go back. To go back is impossible in existence."
I moved forward. And, in doing so, I joined millions of other cancer patients and cancer survivors.
Just as the river adds its water to that of the ocean, I added my story to that of many who had come before me. My story didn't disappear into the ocean: it became part of the ocean.
