[2022-11-30] Tenderness
Tonight, we had dinner with my son. After supper, as I was washing dishes and Mel was drying them, she passed a bowl back to me and said, "This one needs a little more lovin'." It was such a gentle way to say, "You missed a spot."
When we got home, Mel went up to her room. Today was a work-from-the-office day, so she was really looking forward to snuggling up in bed, especially after busing to Shane's in the cold, damp, blustery weather late this afternoon. When she got to her room, she found a note I had left for her that read: "I missed you today. I'm happy you're home."
Both were moments of tenderness, something we need much more of.
When we do something tenderly, we do it in a soft and gentle way, in an affectionate, loving or kindhearted way, in a sensitive and careful way. I love the word "tender" and all its variations: tender, tenderly, tenderness. It's not a word I hear often, perhaps because we've become—as a society—too anxious, too overloaded, too short on time to express tenderness. Or maybe social media has made us more inclined to critique or to poke fun at others.
My sense is that sharing the tender love we have in our hearts for someone else can leave us feeling vulnerable. If we say something sweet and the sentiment is not returned, we may feel rejected. Sometimes it's safer to be funny or snarky or sarcastic.
I've often quoted Charlie Mackesy's The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse. Today, Charlie posted a touching short animation of the four characters in a storm. He wrote: "The four in the storm. So many storms of various kinds happening at the moment. Hope things are good with you." Despite the chaos all around them, or perhaps because of it, the four characters express a tenderness toward each other that is heartwarming.
I, too, hope you are well—being gentle and kind with yourself and enjoying a little tenderness with someone you love.
