[2023-02-13] Speaking and listening
Every once in a while, I reread the compendium of quotes I've gathered over the past few years. Tonight, I paused on this one by author and speaker Zig Ziglar:
Speak in such a way that others love to listen to you. Listen in such a way that others love to speak to you.
One of the best ways to ensure that someone listens to you is to talk about them. Speak positively about their accomplishments. Notice their successes. Praise their efforts. Ask them how they're doing today. Validate their feelings. Remind them of something they talked about in the past and invite them to provide an update. Listen to their responses and build on their answers.
This is similar to what Dale Carnegie wrote in How to Win Friends and Influence People:
So if you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener. To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions that other persons will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments.
I suppose there is always the risk that the other person will remain focused solely on themselves. In such cases, you may choose to quietly quit the conversation. In most cases, however, the other person is likely to reciprocate, repaying the compliments and asking you questions in return.
It's like a good tennis game, which is fun only when there is a reasonable back and forth. It just takes someone to serve the ball.
