[2023-03-13] You will find your way
So you've had a bad day. You received some news you weren't expecting. You feel blindsided, defeated, vulnerable.
Even though you know that life is hard, you easily forget the fact that rough seas are a part of every journey. When rough seas interrupt your otherwise smooth sailing, you are taken aback. Every new wave feels huge, like the worst thing you've ever experienced.
It doesn't take long for the negative voices in your head to begin clamouring. Shame says, "I told you that you were a failure" and asks "why couldn't you have done things differently yesterday to avoid this new reality today?" Then Fear takes over, projecting all the negative potential consequences. Your past feels like a mistake and your future feels like you will never recover. (You will, of course, but that's not what you're thinking today.)
You deserve to tell yourself, "this sucks." And you deserve to hear from a trusted confidant, "that must be so hard." You don't need to hear what you could or should have done yesterday. You don't need to hear "don't be silly, everything will be OK."
You deserve to be in this moment, holding on through the storm, even if the storm is worse in your head than in the real world. It's OK to batten down the hatches, to take refuge from the turmoil for a time. As John Steinbeck said, "It is a common experience that a problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has worked on it."
Tomorrow, after the Committee of Sleep has done its deliberations, lift your head up and with new energy and resolve, summon the heretofore unheard voices to offer their counsel.
Judge pronounces that Shame and Fear do not present the whole story. Perspective reminds you that you've faced challenges before and that you've overcome them. Self-Awareness suggests that you hurt because you care and because you want to be better. Teacher tells you that there is much you can learn from this situation. Optimism adds that you will be stronger for it, quoting Franklin Roosevelt, who said, "A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor." Serenity encourages you to think about what you can control. Love says that you are a perfectly imperfect human being who, despite this setback, has much to offer this world. Humanity points out that you are not alone. And Perseverance advises: "do not quit while you are yet undefeated": keep sailing—you will find your way.
