[2023-03-15] Documenting and sharing our stories

I had lunch with my mom and a few of her friends today. I'm always fascinated by one or more of their stories.

There was a time when I might have found anecdotes about individuals I didn't know boring. But as I get older, I'm more inclined to say, "Wow, that's an interesting recollection."

When I chat with people who share a fascinating memory, I often ask, "Have you ever written down any of these stories?" The answer is often "no, but so-and-so tells me I should." So-and-so is usually a child or a grandchild.

Why aren't more of us documenting our recollections? Perhaps the cause is:
  • Lack of time. Many of us just don't have the time to document our lives or even just selected memories. And when we do have time—for example, when we're retired—we often don't remember our past vividly enough to feel that a given recollection is worth capturing.
  • Faded memories. It's hard to write a story when our memories have faded. We may second-guess ourselves, questioning whether our recollection of events is accurate. We may worry that a reader will say, "Hey, that's not how it happened."
  • Lack of confidence in our writing abilities. We may avoid writing because we think others will judge what we wrote and how we said it.
  • Uncertainty that a tale has merit. We often underestimate the value of our stories to ourselves and other people, especially when we can remember only parts of it.
  • Insufficient energy to write. Writing requires us to think hard as we reach into our memory banks for the details of an anecdote. And it requires us to convert our thoughts into words, a process that is challenging even for those of us who write regularly.
Is it possible to overcome these obstacles? Would we be more likely to share our stories if we could simply speak them and leave it to someone else to capture them?

That's the approach of StoryCorps, which has been recording and sharing the reminiscences of more than half a million people since 2003. "StoryCorps’ mission is to preserve and share humanity’s stories in order to build connections between people and create a more just and compassionate world." It explains how people can participate in its program, recording an interview using StoryCorps' self-directed recording tools or capturing an interview at one of StoryCorps' recording sites.

I'm not suggesting that everyone download the StoryCorps app to record conversations with their loved ones. But I do think there is merit in recording a discussion for posterity and perhaps picking some of the gems from the dialogue for inclusion in an accompanying written piece.

I did this to great success with colleagues in the Canadian Forest Service at Natural Resources Canada, recording, transcribing and distilling written stories from interviews with various executives. My favourite such pieces, which I published in my Café Jen blog, were my series of interviews with the CFS Assistant Deputy Minister. He was—and still is—a captivating and entertaining storyteller. And although he was an excellent writer himself, he just didn't have the time to craft stories himself. So, he would spend a half hour with me, answering my questions on topics related to work and life. One of my employees would later transcribe the recording of the interview. Then I would do a little nipping and tucking to produce a draft that he could tweak and approve. We would translate the article and share it with staff as part of a series called "An Interview with Jim." It was a very efficient and effective way to put the ADM's thoughts out to employees.

If you're inspired to interview a loved one but don't know where to start, you could consult StoryCorps's list of questions or my own longer list of Questions to stimulate conversation. Another way to start a conversation is by collectively looking at photos or listening to music and asking what memories they bring up.

Getting cancer has made me much more aware of my mortality. My desire to be remembered is what drives me, in part, to write every day—to share my thoughts and experiences. Facing my own mortality has also made me more interested in other people's stories. If no one writes them down, they will be lost forever. And that would be a shame.